Like ArrowsSample

Sexual Identity

Children depend on their parents for everything. To their eyes, we are like superheroes, able to lift them into the air with one arm, make the monsters under the bed evaporate, and turn tears into laughter with a well-placed raspberry. They want to be like us one day. 

That’s a sobering thought. As a parent, you are your child’s first and most enduring image of manhood or womanhood. What they see in your gender is the way they will define manhood and womanhood throughout their lives.

Are you gentle? Then they will see gentleness in your gender as normal and a quality to be emulated. Are you forceful? Then forcefulness is normal. Your children are miniature reflections of you. You might even call them image bearers. In their eyes, normal is defined by the consistent character qualities they see in you.

Genesis 1:27 says that we are created in the image of God, both male and female. Two genders were required to reflect the many different aspects of His image. Both genders have equal worth, yet each was designed to reflect God’s glory and achieve His purposes in unique ways.

Being a boy or a girl is more than adhering to typical male/female gender stereotypes. We need to help our children understand their intrinsic personality bent and to see how they can use it to reflect the image of God in their grown-up roles one day. Girls are women in training, and boys are men in training. 

Far too often, our limited understanding of masculinity and femininity creates more confusion than is necessary. Is your son gentle and tenderhearted? Don’t try to make him “man up.” Instead, help him to understand the nurturing, self-sacrificing side of masculinity. Show him how restraint is often the most courageous choice a man can make. Show him how true leadership requires that we listen to and understand the ones we lead. 

Is your daughter wild and wired for battle? Don’t try to force her to play with dolls and like pink. Help her to understand how her natural grit can be used to engage in spiritual battles as a woman. God refers to Himself as an ever-present help in times of trouble. The role of a helper is not a passive role. It requires strength and a natural ability to carry the burdens of others. 

Our sons and daughters were created to bear the image of God, not the masculine or feminine images in our minds. When we focus on helping them to reflect His image, we discover that His image is more robust than we could have ever imagined. 

 Pray: Lord, thank You for designing my child to be unique. Give me wisdom as I guide my [son to develop godly masculine or daughter to develop godly femininity] for your glory.

For more help listen to, “Understanding Gender Identity” on FamilyLifeToday.com.