No More Self-HatePrøve

Now that we have addressed besetting sin as a source of self-hate, let’s delve into the broader issue of self-loathing. But first, a disclaimer: I do not believe the solution to self-hate is self-love (more on that in a few days). Anything that I love or esteem in myself is Jesus. God’s Word reminds us that Christ in us is the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27)!

While I am not teaching self-love here, I want to be abundantly clear. Hating yourself is not biblical and is incredibly destructive.

Now, I know at one point or another, we have all said things like,

“Why am I so stupid? I can’t do this! I won’t amount to anything.”

When you say things like that, to whom are you speaking?

You are speaking to a person for whom Christ died, a person made in the very image of God (Genesis 1:27).

James 3:8-9 tells us that it is wrong to use the tongue to curse people made in God’s likeness, and incidentally, those people include ourselves!

Also, when God uses marriage in Ephesians 5:28-29 to paint a picture of Christ and the church, He reminds us that no one hates his own flesh but cares for it. In other words, we care for our bodies by giving them rest, food, and medical attention when necessary. Believer, do not forget that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You are to care for it and not tear it down either physically with self-harm, or emotionally with hateful speech leveled against yourself!

If you consistently speak hate against yourself, ask God to help you stop, and seek help from Bible-teaching pastors, counselors, and loved ones.

Surprisingly, I can get pushback on this issue from those who wonder if the Bible espouses self-hate somehow. Some ask, “Carol, didn’t Jesus say in John 12:25 that ‘whoever loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.’” The point Jesus is making here, of course, is not that we should hate ourselves in the sense of humanistic self-loathing. When Jesus talks about self-denial and taking up the cross, He is not espousing self-hate. He is saying that we should surrender to God and give up self-centeredness.

Please hear me. Biblical self-denial and human self-loathing are NOT the same things.

To sum up, self-hate, condemnation, shame, self-harm, intrusive thoughts, and suicidal tendencies DO NOT COME FROM GOD. More on that, over the next few days.