Freedomနမူနာ

Groanings Too Deep for Words

Have you been there?

Maybe you are there now.

I was there about three years ago. We had just come home from a four-month hospital stay with our son, who was born with a severe heart defect. In my mind, that was supposed to be the turning point for us. We were home and should have been happy. But I was drowning. Caring for two toddlers and a baby with serious health issues consumed me. I was growing farther and farther from Christ.

As we went through the next year battling doctors and our son’s issues, I went from praying to God to yelling at God to finally not even bothering. I was weak and tired of it all. During the darkest of days, I know the Spirit was interceding for me. I was so angry with God about my situation that I would scream out to Him, not even knowing what to say. Yet I always went back to Him. I know it was the Spirit helping me. We went through that for months. And even though I didn’t know what to pray, the Spirit did.

Christ stayed with me, holding me through it all. I kept praying that God would change my circumstances. I didn’t want to go through this anymore. But God wasn’t changing things and for that reason, I was angry at Him. I didn’t realize how selfish my prayers were. When I started praying for God to change my heart, I saw a shift in my situation. My son did not get better, but my outlook did. I saw who he was as a little boy and not just his health problems.

So when you look at that impossible situation you are in now, and you don’t know what to pray or what to say, rest. Trust that God is holding you, and the Spirit will intercede for you.

Lord, I ask that You meet me where I am in this situation. I don’t know what to say, but I trust that all things will work out for Your glory. I’m feeling weak and unsure. Help me to lean on You.

For Further Reading: 2 Corinthians 12:8-9; Ephesians 6:18; Romans 8:15