Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Heart After Divorceနမူနာ

Stepping Forward

It’s been said there are five stages of grief when someone we love dies: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

The same stages apply when we’re grieving the loss of a spouse who didn’t die but is no longer a part of our life. When we’re mourning the loss of dreams and plans, an unbroken family, a father to our children, the comfort of home, in-laws, friends, financial security, and more. 

The question is not whether you will go through this five-stage grief process but how you will go through it and how long you will take to navigate each stage. 

In fact, it’s important to realize that since we are emotional creatures and the grief process is difficult, we will likely all swing back and forth through the five stages of grief as we progress in our healing journeys. We also may not experience the stages in sequential order and will never experience them exactly like someone else. 

There will be days when you feel like every time you take two steps forward, you fall three steps back, which is okay and completely normal. This path is hard. 

No one should expect you to suddenly be “over it,” so don’t hold yourself to that unattainable standard either. The better you allow yourself to experience each of these stages, understanding that your feelings are normal and valid, the sooner you will begin to get on with your life and discover the happiness waiting for you. 

Knowing the stages of grief can help you walk out this journey with grace. It’s critical to remember that although divorce is the death of a life we once knew, it is not the death of who we are or who we can be. 

Our hearts will always have scars, but the pain will be less and less as time goes by. 

As I’ve already said, the day will come when you will feel happy and whole again. Free to start a new life. Free to be who you want to be and excited about who you are and what lies ahead. 

I promise that time will come.

Healing Step:

What stage of grief do you feel you’re in today? Write out a summary of where you are now and how you feel you’ve progressed or stayed stuck in a particular stage. Think about benefits you could experience by trying to move on to the next stage and progress in your healing.