Forgiveness

On my flight home to Wisconsin for my sentencing, God kept prompting me to read 1 Thessalonians 5:11, which tells us to encourage and build each other up. I turned to the woman seated next to me and asked, “Do you need to be encouraged?”

The shadows under her eyes and downturned corners of her mouth answered for her, but she said, “Yes. I do.” She told me her name was Mary Ann, and her husband of more than fifty years had recently left her. Her son, Daniel, was serving a twenty-year prison term, and she was estranged from her grandchildren.

For the next two hours, we discussed our lives, laughing at similarities and sorrowing over struggles. We prayed for strength, peace, and patience. We prayed for her son, her husband, and her grandkids. She asked if I would send something encouraging to her son in prison. Of course I would, and I made sure to send him a Christmas card.

To my surprise, Daniel mailed a letter to me in return, sharing more of his story and thanking me for encouraging his mom. With the help of the prison chaplain and fellow Christians, Daniel discovered the root of his pain: unforgiveness. "I believe my ex-wife, family, and even God have forgiven me because I asked," Daniel wrote, "but I can’t forgive myself. My two children do not have a father to love and care for them. I can’t get past that."

If we lived in a perfect world, no one would need to forgive anyone. But we don’t live in a perfect world. Despite our best efforts, we hurt the people we love. Hurt people hurt others and will continue to do so until they learn to forgive. That’s why forgiveness is so important.

God understands that we struggle with unforgiveness, particularly with forgiving ourselves. But we must remember that Christ died on the cross to forgive us. When we repent and choose to free ourselves from shame and disappointment, our burdens lift and grudges vanish. We restore our emotional and psychological wellness. Our heart begins to heal, and we become free to experience true peace. Life takes on an incredible new meaning.