Lord's Prayer: Forgive Usनमुना

It can be hard to forgive. Sometimes it feels impossible.

People wrong us all the time. Usually, we’re able to just brush it off. Sometimes it needs a simple “sorry,” and that “sorry” goes a long way. But sometimes people are not sorry for hurting us. Sometimes they delight in it. Other times they hold us with such contempt, disdain, or disregard that they don’t care if they hurt us or not. Sometimes this comes from people we don’t like. But sometimes it comes from the people we thought were closest to us: a spouse, a parent, a best friend, or someone we trust. This is often when forgiveness becomes the hardest because of just how betraying the sin is.

Sometimes we face times like this, and we just can’t seem to let it go. The anger holds on. We want to forgive because Jesus tells us to forgive, but we just don’t know how or seem able to do it.

When you face times like these, here are some things to consider that may help you through the process:

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. You cannot wash your brain of what’s happened to you. You don’t need to and God doesn’t expect you to. Forgiving does not mean forgetting about the incident.

Forgiving doesn’t mean excusing. A lot of times when people wrong us, they say they’re sorry, and our inclination is to say it’s okay. But it’s not okay. Not sometimes, anyway. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean downplaying what they’ve done or acting like it’s no big deal. It’s not saying it isn’t wrong or isn’t a sin. Instead, it’s choosing not to hold it against them or seek to get even with them because of it.

Forgiving doesn’t mean trusting. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to put yourself in the same position to be hurt by them again. Sometimes there are consequences for actions, even if they’re forgiven. Don’t ever think that just because you forgive someone, you have to pretend like they’re suddenly trustworthy in a repeat situation.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. So often we struggle to forgive because we feel disappointed, disillusioned, or angry. You can forgive while feeling disappointed, disillusioned, or angry. Forgiveness is an action. And sometimes an act of the will. If you’re struggling to let go of anger towards someone, try this. Pray, “Father, even though I’m mad at this person, I know you want me to forgive. I choose to forgive them today.” Sometimes you’ll have to pray that prayer many days. And sometimes you’ll even have to pray, “Father, I don’t want to forgive! But I want to honor you. Please give me a desire to forgive and your Spirit to help me to act on it.”

Consider this today…

If there’s someone you’re struggling to forgive, ask why, and how the insights above can help you. Ask God to make you willing to forgive even if you don’t know how to forgive. Keep praying through a process of forgiveness for as many days as you need to.

If this plan helped you orient towards Jesus’s perspective on life and the future, we encourage you to subscribe to the other “Lord’s Prayer” plans. The next plan is “Lord’s Prayer: Lead Us not into Temptation.”