When a Friendship Falls Apartनमुना

The Friend Who Will Never Leave

Many of us have unconsciously spent our whole lives trying to fill the God-sized hole in our hearts with people-sized relationships—and then we wonder why we’re always left a little lonely, a little let down. Why the hole never gets completely filled; why there are always hollow spaces, gaps where we feel unseen, unheard, unloved.

I’m not suggesting we become cynical about people or stop cultivating human friendships, but perhaps we need to reevaluate whether we are putting too much pressure and expectation on people. Whether we are trying to make people do things that only God can do for us.

Putting too much pressure on our human friendships leads to a lot of shoulds:

She should realize what I need without me saying it.
She should drop everything and come over to help me.
She should be more available . . . more thoughtful . . . more selfless.
Should.

Most of my hurt feelings and friendship disappointments have been preceded by sentences in which the word should takes center stage. And maybe people should, in fact, do those things. But people are imperfect. Busy. Overwhelmed by their own problems.

The loss of a friendship can make us wonder: Is anyone faithful? Is any relationship permanent? Know this: There is a friend who never leaves. A friend who understands you. Psalm 139:1 says, “You have searched me . . . and you know me.” The Creator thinks you are worth knowing. You are intriguing enough to search. And God doesn’t just brush the surface—he takes the time to get to know you, the depths of you. The thoughts, needs, hurts and dreams you hardly know how to explain to yourself, much less confess to another human. Whether you realize it or not, you are fully known and understood.

And God doesn’t just understand us; he keeps us company as our most devoted companion. A companion shares life with you, goes places with you, walks beside you, and keeps you company. Tells you stories and jokes and listens to yours. God is the only friend who can go with us all the time, everywhere, for all of our days. Psalm 139 describes how our Father and Friend surrounds us with his loving, protecting presence. Up in heaven, down in the grave, across the farthest oceans—no matter where we go, our God is with us—guiding and protecting us, sharing the journey so we’re never alone.

God reassures us in a thousand different ways, “You can trust me. I’m never going to abandon you or change my mind. I’ll always be here. I am. And I always will be.”