Self-Sabotage: The Other Enemyनमुना

Sit In It

One common area that many of us have experienced self-sabotage is in relationships. I am guilty of doing it, and I have been the victim of someone else's self-sabotaging behavior. The enemy loves to disrupt this area of our lives because it is the foundation of everything else. Don't believe me? Check out 1 John 3:14-15, Genesis 2:18, and Proverbs 17:17. 

Relationships—whether they are familial, friendly, or romantic—help us get through life. If we are always in strife, we will find that it has ripple effects on our mental health (lack of peace), our work (lack of productivity), and our faith (a distorted view of what an authentic and intimate relationship with God should look like).

One key to winning in this area is to choose to sit in it—i.e. to be fully committed to the relationship through discomfort, fear, spiritual warfare, and whatever else may come to attack it. We must recognize that self-sabotage is a fight or flight response. It forces us to instinctively put up our defenses rather than wade through discomfort to get to the heart of the issue. To sit in it is to choose rebellion against this impulse. It is an act of faith that says we see the big picture, and we are committed to finding a reasonable solution. 

To sit in it is to decide that even if a situation does not come to your desired end, you will not continue a pattern of giving up. This builds our resilience and pushes us to commune with God. We can rest assured that by waiting and listening for Him, He will give us a solution and a peace that passes all understanding.

Reflection Questions: 

1. Do I have a pattern of giving up when things get uncomfortable? If so, what is the root cause? 

2. Fear can sometimes mask itself as wisdom. Knowing this, are there relationships in my life that I am running from even though they sharpen me? How can I face my fears and manage these relationships?