Psalms: Saying Yes in the Darknessनमुना

Recently, a friend accused me of something that made my heart incredibly heavy. I didn’t see it coming and didn’t understand. I literally felt sick all day. My thoughts and prayers swirled through the afternoon and evening hours as I went first to God, and then to my husband and dearest friends, placing this person’s accusation at their feet for examination.

“Here’s the evidence. Look at it. Sift through it; dig deeply,” I told them. “Did I do this? Am I doing this?”

I was doubled over in anxiety as I asked the Lord and my friends who know me best to share honestly. I wanted to know the truth so I could grow and ask forgiveness if indeed this accusation was true. Because if so, I had some serious heart-searching to do. What I was being accused of is not reflective of the type of person I want to be.

I am still completely and totally devastated. And truthfully, I am really embarrassed that someone would think this thing of me. But I don’t believe I did what she has said. I did take my heart to God, and I’m okay with what He unearthed in response. (Not that I don’t need to grow in areas, of course. We all need to grow, right?)

If I were laying my story next to David’s here in Psalm 59, though, I’d tell you quite honestly, I felt that this person was ready to attack. And she did, to some extent.

In this situation with my friend, I was worried she was going to start spreading her thoughts and lies through our mutual friends. I was afraid she was going to post it on social media and disrupt my ministry. I was scared, and, like David, I felt ambushed.

Yes, my situation is tame compared to David’s. Yours probably is too. But we all know what it is to feel ambushed and afraid.

If someone has spread venom or lies about you in jealousy or malcontent, do what David did. Drop to your knees and plead that you would feel the Lord’s presence as He walks beside you in it. He will meet you there!