Am I Enough: Embracing The Truth About Who You Areनमुना

Lie #8: Nicholas Sparks Writes the Best Love Stories  

For most of my life, I’ve allowed myself to admire men for their looks and possessions—the type of guy that would cause other girls to envy me. Even now, too often, that is how I define attractive. That realization isn’t easy to swallow. I strive every day to pray for the Lord’s eyes—to see how He sees. It took me a while to realize my physical appearance didn’t determine my worth, but it took me even longer to realize that men’s physical appearances also didn’t determine their worth. 

My heart knows what I should find attractive. I want the guy I ultimately fall in love with to look like Jesus as much as any of us can. I want a guy whose arms are reaching out to help others; who is willing to go where the Lord leads him. His eyes should look for the good in others instead of the attractive things of this world. His words should be filled with compassion, loving all people, and never used for destruction. He’ll be patient—not pushing my boundaries, admiring my desire for purity until marriage, and seeking the same for himself. He’ll be the same guy on Friday night that he is in church on Sunday morning. When he makes a mistake, he’ll admit it and ask for forgiveness. When I make a mistake and admit it, he’ll give grace. 

We need to be looking for a lot in a guy. It bothers me to see friends who “settle” in choosing a guy. We don’t allow ourselves to believe we deserve better. My friend, you are a creation of God, and you deserve someone in whom you see joy, love, and leadership. You deserve someone who challenges you to grow as a friend and a disciple. You deserve a guy who sees you chasing after the Lord and instead of stopping you, runs alongside you so that you are pursuing Christ together. You are beautiful in God’s eyes and worthy to be loved well.

It wasn’t until recently that I’ve realized the importance of crushing on someone who crushes on God. The guys who crush on Jesus are, honestly, more fun. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 lists the traits of a guy who measures up to what God says you deserve. Can you also apply this list to yourself? As you are waiting for a man rooted in faith, remember to invest in being a woman of Christ—the type of woman who attracts the type of guy God wants for you. And always remember that you need your Savior, the one who first loved you, more than you need any guy. Crush on Jesus. He spread His arms on the cross to declare, “I love you this much,” and He wants to dwell in our hearts. Whatever your relationship situation is, Jesus has a role for you in His love story. Trust God for His timing, and you’ll be amazed at how your love story turns out.

Respond

What does it mean to have a crush on someone? How do these feelings affect your thoughts and actions? 

How have your romantic relationships or even crushes from afar changed your relationship with God? 

How can the depth of Jesus’ love for you help you feel loved regardless of romantic (or lack of) relationships?