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There’s a word used in this proverb that we don’t typically see: foster. It means to promote or encourage the development of. The writer of this proverb pointed out that we have to foster love when we experience an offense. In other words, our gut reaction to being hurt is not love. Because of that, it’s something we have to work for. But when we do? The offense becomes less and less the issue. The proverb goes on to say that when an offense is repeated, it separates close friends. Why is that? Because trust is broken. To hurt again in the same way means to create distance in a relationship. The offense creates the distance.

But sometimes, the one who was hurt needs to protect that distance for a time. When it comes to the hurts we have experienced, there is nothing wrong with creating some boundaries in friendships and in family that keep us from continuing to put ourselves in situations where we can continue to be hurt. That’s okay. Wounds create distance. They separate. They make space in a relationship. And sometimes, that’s the answer for a time.

Remember, even in the distance we can foster love for the person while not allowing ourselves to be hurt by them again.

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