LOVE FORGIVESЗагвар

 As I write this, I can imagine people who are reading this saying in response: "but you don’t know how complex my story is. You don’t know what was done to me. You don’t realize how I never deserved ______ (fill in the blank of how you were treated).” You are right. I don’t understand the depth of your pain and you will never understand the depth of my pain. However, we have all been in pain. We all have sinned. We all have hurt people. We have all been hurt by people. 

In Genesis 16, Abram and Sarai (better known as Abraham and Sarah) have been promised to have a son. This was to fulfill God's promise to Abraham that he would be the Father of many nations. The only problem is that they are old and can’t have kids. So, Sarah has a bright idea of giving her servant, Hagar, to Abram so her servant can have a child to fulfill the promise God spoke to Abram. Abram got Hagar pregnant and, as soon as he did, Sarai despised Hagar and started treating Hagar horribly. Hagar left and an angel of the Lord found her in the wilderness between Kadesh and Bered. We will jump into the story here: 

Genesis 16:7-14 – The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered. Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.” Then the angel of the Lord also said to her: “You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and; he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.” She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: You are the God who sees me, for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me." That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.

God showed me that the power within this story comes from the meanings of the place she had been, where she was, and where she was going.

The Hebrew meaning of Kadesh is “holy or sanctuary.” 

The meaning of wilderness is “to be neglected, abandoned, or in a position of disfavor.”

The Hebrew meaning of Bered is “to become hail or to be cold.” 

The beauty within Hagar’s story is that God met her in the moment she felt like He failed her. In her heartbreak – the way she had undeservingly been treated – God stopped her. In her place of neglect and disfavor, God saw and loved her. In her wilderness she had a choice: she could choose to return to Kadesh meaning “Holy or sanctuary” or continue on to Bered “to be cold.”

Returning wasn’t going to be an easy decision because it meant Sarai would still be mistreating her. However, it was also the place of God’s protection for her. His favor isn’t always Him removing us from our uncomfortable situations, but it’s Him taking care of us through them. It’s the intimacy He builds with us within these situations. 

Maybe this is you. Maybe, like Hagar, it was others’ decisions that pushed you away from Kadesh (Holy). Now, you have a choice to go back to God’s sanctuary or not. You can either remain a victim or allow God to heal you. 

The Scripture that keeps ringing in my mind is one of choice. 

Joshua 24:14-15 – “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

God never promised the road would be easy. He did, however, promise that He would be with us. 

What will you choose? Will you allow LOVE in? Will you allow your healing to begin?