Begin Again: A 7-Day Devotional By Leeana TankersleyЗагвар

Brave in Your Becoming

Recently I facilitated a workshop for a group of women, and 99 percent of the women in attendance hugged me and thanked me on the way out the door, full of love and gratitude for a beautiful morning together. But do you think I could even remember the state of the 99 percent after I talked to the last attendee, the one who critically questioned the content I presented? No, in fact, over the course of a seven-minute conversation, all good feelings about the morning were erased. As she asked me questions, including phrases like “your stance” and “your philosophy,” I felt hot and defensive and cornered and very young.

After the event, I rode home with my dear friend Elaine and anxiously recalled to her the woman’s concern over my content. Elaine could easily read my insecurity and she finally said to me, “And why do you think she knows better than you do?” Ummm.

Yes, we need others. We need guides and companions. We need people to raise important points of contention. Without question. And we also need to learn the sound of God’s voice and the sound of our own voice.

Instead, we heap flesh on top of our liabilities. Once in a while we are graciously led into the depths of our humanity, the holy depths of our humanness, and—if you are like me—it’s almost too much to tolerate. In this way, failure, limits, coming to the end of ourselves is all grace, inviting us to let go of our striving ways, our sense that we have to prove we are worthy of taking a seat at the table. Look, I

belong here! See all I’m contributing! See how much I’m needed!

But what if I believed to my core that I have nothing to prove?

I think a very young version of myself was standing and waiting for someone to swoop in with the answers—a real adult. And that person would know what to do. That person would know the way forward. That person would figure everything out.

And, the still small Voice kept whispering to me: That person is not coming. That person is you. You, Leeana, get to be brave in your becoming.

What would your day, your thoughts, your interactions look like if you believed to your core that you had nothing to prove?