The Jesus I Know 10-Day DevotionalПримерок

Do Not Grow Weary in Well Doing: A Conversation with Chynna Phillips Baldwin

Kathie Lee

I loved listening to the Mamas and the Papas in the 1960s. Chynna Phillips grew up in this world as the beautiful daughter of John and Michelle Phillips, founding members of the band. Then, in 1995, she married Billy Baldwin, one of the four famous acting Baldwin brothers. This is Chynna’s story with Jesus.

Chynna

During my school years, I was being bullied, so my mother reluctantly transferred me to a Christian private school. One day, some girls came up to me and asked if I’d accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. And I thought, ugh, now I’m gonna have to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. All right, fine, I’ll do it.

As I began to read out loud the words they gave me, I felt as though I was being completely purified. I was thinking, This Jesus person is for real. He’s really the Son of God. I went home to the marijuana roaches in the ashtray, no Bibles in the house, no father to talk to, and a very busy single mother. I didn’t know how to explain what had happened to me. And then, I got into drugs and alcohol and got promiscuous. I was a Hollywood statistic kid.

I had a second coming-to-Jesus when I was about thirty-four years old. My husband’s brother, Stephen, got saved. As I watched his family’s lives, the Holy Spirit told me to ask them to pray for me. From then on, I dedicated my life to serving Jesus and furthering His kingdom.

Billy was supportive, but he’s still not completely on board, and it’s been fifteen years. We also struggled in our marriage. We had financial troubles, and then our son got sick. I filed for divorce at one point. Divorce isn’t an option for me anymore. Every single day I ask God to help me navigate my marriage. There are lots of wonderful things about our marriage, but we have to work at it.

Kathie Lee

What would you say is the hardest thing you have to deal with on a regular basis?

Chynna

I still struggle with a lot of anxiety, and that’s closely related to depression. I have a lot of PTSD from experiences like my son having cancer and the passing of my “other mother” who was there when my mom could not. I have this issue of not feeling like God loves me or that God’s there for me. I believe in God and that He’s real and that Jesus is His Son, but I have such deep-seated abandonment issues that for years I couldn’t call God “Father.” I know I’m not alone in this. 

Six months ago was the lowest I’ve been, when my son had to go back for surgery. I thought, God, I can’t do this anymore. But I also thought, If my son is still fighting, then I have to also. 

Kathie Lee

The Lord says, “Do not grow weary in well doing,” because He knew we would get weary in well doing. He says, You don’t have to; I am enough. I’ve carried it all before, and I can carry it again for you. I love your story because it doesn’t have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s ongoing. Thank you for sharing it.

Respond

What struggles have you had in believing that God loves you?

Who in your life is an example of authentic faith in Jesus as your Savior and Lord? How can they encourage you as you grow in faith?

What does God promise to those who don’t give up on following Him? What is your source of strength in difficult times?

Prayer

Thank you, Lord, that you are enough. When I feel at the end of my strength I know you will carry me. I call on your Holy Spirit to cover me with the armor of God as I fight to live totally committed to you. Amen.