Growing as an Enneagram One: The PerfectionistПримерок

What Is an Inner Critic? 

An inner critic is something that is unique to Enneagram Ones, although most Ones do not know this until they have learned about the Enneagram. They assume everyone has an inner critic.

You may have been told that you’re “too hard on yourself,” “too rigid,” or “need to let things go.” In every instance in which other people are expressing sentiments like these, they are recognizing your inner critic and calling out its abnormality. But none of those comments actually tell you what your inner critic is and what it’s doing to you. 

The kicker is this: your inner critic isn’t another entity; your inner critic is you. We refer to it as its own self, but in reality, your inner critic is only as healthy (calm, kind) or unhealthy (mean, self-deprecating) as you yourself are. These are your own deep thoughts lashing out against your humanity and how others impact your ability to be good.

No two Ones will hear exactly the same things from their inner critic, but here are some things Ones have told us it says to them:

· “I can’t believe you ate two cookies! You deserve to feel gross.”

· “You’re so stupid! No wonder your boss doesn’t trust you!”

· “You should just stop trying until you learn to do things right!”

· “That was so dumb! Why did you say that?”

· “Why did you trust him? You know better! This is on you.”

· “Chicken nuggets again! Your kids are going to grow up fat and blame you.”

Maybe your inner critic sounds like your dad when he was harsh and angry with you. Maybe it sounds like the voice of your first grade teacher who corrected you in front of everyone. Maybe it sounds like someone you know, or used to know, who has said unkind things to you.

No matter whose voice you have taken on to carry out critiques in your head, being aware of what you’re hearing and how it impacts you is the first step to making sure it doesn’t drown out what God might be trying to whisper to you. Your inner critic might be loud, but it certainly doesn’t get the final say on who you are.

Whatever your inner critic is saying to you, you can rest assured that God’s voice is always kinder, gentler, and more compassionate than you’d expect.