Loved Baby: A 7-Day Plan After Pregnancy Loss Paraugs

Deadlines. Goals. Plans. We love order, don’t we? Our society helps us (wrongly) believe we can plan our families, maternity leave, and the number of years between siblings. Pharmaceutical companies burst with pregnancy prevention options. People fight over making choices. We talk about starting a family as if we are making dinner plans. 

Therefore, it must be harder to prevent pregnancy than to get pregnant and have a baby. It’s under the covers, and nine months later you deliver a baby, right? Sheesh. 

Did you think you could plan out your life too? 

Not only do we grieve for our child, but we also grieve because our plans failed. And because we falsely believe we are the ones in control of our lives, we often (wrongly, I must add) feel like failures. Our souls start to send out the crushing, false message: My body failed me. I failed our baby! Our soul screams, This wasn’t part of my plan! I thought this was supposed to be easy! Isn’t having a baby a part of happily ever after? 

Those of us who have experienced loss are now changed souls. But please know that the death of your child is not your fault. Unfortunately, we are promised a life of hardship. John 16:33 reminds us, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

Do you see that promise? Ouch. You see, our lives are not promised to be pure happiness. We are actually promised lives that are intermixed with troubles. Earth is not the place where pure happiness exists. That is why we long for heaven—a place absent of suffering. 

Can I whisper a promise to help you in the days ahead? Although your baby died on earth, your baby was born into heaven. This isn’t the plan you would have chosen, but there is an absolute promise. 

Our heart suffers right now in the present, but there is the promise that one day you will greet your child. It is in this place where glorious happiness shall forever exist. Trust that in the future, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).