The Last Week of Jesus's LifeParaugs

Sunday, March 29, 33 AD

The march on Jerusalem begins. Despite having heard more than a hundred teachings on the kingdom of God, Jesus’s disciples are evidently still fuzzy on what this kingdom is. This is where Aunt Salome asks if her sons can sit at their cousin’s left and right hand when he takes over. We can only imagine what is going through the revolutionary minds of hotheaded Rocky, Simon the Zealot, Judas, and the Thunder Sons. Is this the part where we stir up the Passover masses and take over the capital? Will Jesus bankrupt Annas and his thieving family? Are we going to get to fight alongside angels? Will our rabbi kill all the Romans with a firebolt from heaven? As they near Jerusalem, Luke 19:11 says that the rabbi’s crowd “supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately.” Instead, Jesus tells them a parable about how systems of exploitation empower the powerful and weaken the weak (Luke 19, Matthew 25).

It is time for the presumed Christos-Messiah to make his grand conqueror’s entrance into Jerusalem. Where does he base camp? The Mount of Olives (Matthew 19:29)—the same place from which other would-be messiah claimants had and will launch their attacks on the capital. He sends two of his disciples, likely Peter and John, to a nearby hamlet to borrow a colt. The more violent insurgents in the caravan are no doubt confused. A colt? Why not warhorses and chariots? What is happening here?

What is happening is that Jesus is trolling the powers that be by fulfilling Zechariah 9:9: “Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

Not only that, but he’ll be taking the same route into Jerusalem that Solomon used when he was proclaimed king (1 Kings 1:32–40). Donkey in hand, the disciples fashion a makeshift saddle from their himation cloaks and help Jesus climb aboard. As the rabbi clip-clops down the hill from Olivet, the whole crowd of disciples decides to stir up some press.

“Hosanna!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

“Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”

Them’s fightin’ words.

Having heard in advance of Jesus’s visit (and always up for a good spectacle), a huge Passover crowd joins in the fun, tossing their himations on the ground and lobbing branches off nearby trees—rolling out the green carpet, as it were. There is a slight sense of charade to this procession, as though some of the disciples (probably the women) know it is more spiritually symbolic than it is physically militaristic. Either way, this is an unbelievably dangerous stunt Jesus is pulling. But he believes it is his time to die (John 12:23). If he is not God, then he is unfathomably reckless, mentally ill, or suicidal.

The Pharisees in the crowd try to restore order. “‘Teacher, rebuke your disciples.’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out’” (Luke 19:39–40).

Everyone knows what happens next. Jesus pulls out a machete and starts slaughtering Romans left and right. Judas slices throats with his sicae. Simon lobs off ears with his sword. Mary Magdalene lights the temple on fire. By nightfall, every Roman in the city is dead, and Jesus is triumphantly proclaimed king of Israel.

Well, not exactly.

“He entered Jerusalem and went into the temple. And when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve” (Mark 11:11). That’s it. Because it’s nearly closing time, he simply looks around the outer courts and then heads back to Mary and Martha’s place.

Triumphal entry? Talk about anti-climactic. We can almost hear the crowd deflate. Not one Roman lost their head. Not one evil high priest got himself deposed. The crowds disperse and Jesus beds down in Bethany. He’ll cause a ruckus tomorrow, during office hours, when more people are watching.