Encouragement for Imperfect FathersParaugs

Don't Stop Being A Safe Place For Your Children

My eldest son's mother and I divorced when he was two years old. He would spend the day with me every Saturday, and I would also visit him a day during the week. I was very committed to this routine because I wanted him to know that I had not abandoned him and was there for him.

So it was a complete shock to me when as a teenager, a psychologist unearthed that my son lived with a constant fear that I would, in fact, abandon him. How could I have missed this? Were other influences in his life more powerful than my presence?

Regardless, I had to correct it ASAP, so I sat him down and told him in no uncertain terms that I would never ever, EVER leave him. He was forever a part of my life. I saw him almost visibly relax, and it hit me - some things just need to be said. I had never actually told him that before. I had assumed that my actions spoke for my heart. I am not really much of a talker. I believe that actions speak louder than words. But in this case, the words were needed.

I had to let my son know that his heart was safe with me. That psychological safety has a HUGE impact on our children's lives in ways that cannot be understated.

Pray:

Father, teach me how to be a safe place for my family. Give me the right words to say and actions to take that let my family know that I love them and will always be here for them.