RomanceParaugs

Redefining Romance

When you think of “romance” what comes to your mind? For me, it’s the times when it is just the two of us. We had our first date when Nancy was a freshman in college.  Over the next two years our relationship grew to the point of marriage and much of our connection was built on romance. Honestly, it was easy then. I was pursuing her and she wanted me to pursue. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other and having fun. Many of our dates were having lunch, dinner, or ice cream. Was every date romantic? Probably not. But most of them were in one way or another. I think we fell into the trap of taking the romance for granted. In college, there were very few distractions. It was easy to connect and spend time together.  

A few months into marriage, we realized something was missing. The romance was there but we had to be much more intentional about carving out time for each other.  There were distractions. I was working and starting a career and learning how to be a husband. Nancy was finishing school and learning how to be a wife. We had more and more things pulling at our time and neither one of us was very good at saying no to them. The really difficult thing for us was that the things we were saying yes to, that were taking time away from each other, were not bad things. In fact, most of them were really good things. It took us time to understand that every time we said “yes” to something else, we were in effect saying “no” to time with each other and that was killing the romance. We had to turn things around and say “no” to many of the other things and “yes” to each other.

What about you and your marriage? Where is the romance today? If it is good, keep up what you are doing. If it needs some work, why not make the commitment to work on it together? It may be as simple as doing the things you did at the beginning when you fell in love. It may be you were like us and just let life squeeze the romance out of your marriage. God gave us romance for a reason. It enhances our relationship. It is part of His gift to us in marriage. Don’t put off making it a priority. You can begin redefining romance in your marriage today!

Today’s Challenge: 

1. In the area of romance, what was meaningful for you in the past?

2. Think of three things that you thought were romantic before marriage. Would you like any of these in your marriage today?

3. Write down three things that you as a couple could do on a date. Then compare your lists and plan your next date.

4. How much time are you willing to spend putting romance back into your marriage?

Going Deeper:

Think of three things you could do this week to show your spouse how much you love him/her.

Resource: 

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