Dealing with Conflict in Deep Community

In deep community, we don’t walk away from our relationships just because they get hard. When we face conflict or hurt, we have a responsibility to resolve issues.

There are different ways to resolve issues. Sometimes, we can cover an offence with grace. We don’t need to bring it up every time or hold it over someone’s head. “They were having a bad day” or “It wasn’t intentional” can be good enough reasons to let go of something that doesn’t need to be addressed. We don’t have to wait for someone to apologize. Even if they never say sorry, we have the power to forgive. Forgiveness is an act of obedience to God that frees us and heals our relationships. (Colossians 3:13)

But if you're in church for long enough, there will be times when someone deeply offends you, intentionally or unintentionally sins against you, or their actions have previously, or continue to, negatively affect you. When this happens, we may need to go directly to the person involved, just as Matthew 18:15 tells us. Being committed to a deep community looks like being OK with having a hard conversation.

If this feels daunting, that’s normal! The beauty of deep community means that we’re surrounded by people who can support us in these moments (being careful to never gossip or slander, as we’ll discuss in tomorrow’s reading.) And ultimately, we’re also in a relationship with a God who sees us and is our source of strength, love, and patience.

In our relationships, whether with family, church members, or even colleagues, let’s make a pact to resolve things between us. No matter how awkward or uncomfortable it may be, we are committed to working through our differences.

Reflect:

• Is there an offence you are holding onto, that you can instead cover with grace? Is there someone who you need to extend forgiveness towards, even if they haven’t apologized?
• Do you need to have a hard conversation with someone? How might it help restore the relationship?