Caring Wellಮಾದರಿ

Caregiving Is Like. . .

According to Matthew 13 verse 33, New Living Translation, “Jesus also used this illustration: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like the yeast a woman used in making bread. Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough.”

Jesus used similes to describe the kingdom of heaven. In Matthew 13 alone, Jesus uses six similes to describe the kingdom of heaven. Each of these similes gives a picture of what the kingdom is heaven is like.

On one particularly trying day, a simile became revelatory for me. On that day, I woke up late and rushed through devotions. I thought I had prepped Mom’s breakfast the day before but had not, so I cooked breakfast from scratch. After his workout, my husband ran a quick errand to pick up clothes from the cleaners. He returned home before the caregiver but later than I had planned. I had forgotten it was the day to refill Mom’s pill packs for the week. That took more time. And of all days, the caregiver was late. My window for my workout had closed.

Frustrated, I sullenly reflected that “caregiving is like a conductor trying to direct trains that are all running off schedule.” Yes, that was a simile. And it shows the power of language to help us understand our mindset. I approached caregiving as a conductor in control of trains and not as a person working with other humans. I was spending my time and energy trying to control things that were inevitably out of my control. On the one hand, my propensity for planning is good and helpful, but taken to the extreme, this “gift” can lead to my trying to control other people (which is impossible), and to extreme frustration.

I couldn’t control when Mom would have another ailment. I couldn’t control the times when my husband combined errands with his workout and was delayed in returning home. And I couldn’t control it when the caregiver was running late. Those things happen. However, I can control my perspective and shift my language to describe my caregiving.

I now try to liken caregiving to a slinky toy. Remember those walking spring toys from childhood? Then they were made of lightweight metal; now, they are made of plastic and come in assorted bright neon colors. We’d place one end of the slinky on a step and then tilt the other end over the step and let it go. It would flex and “walk” down the steps, slowly flipping end over end.

Flexibility is key for me and you as caregivers. A slinky is flexible, as we need to be. Blessed are flexible caregivers, for they shall not get bent out of shape. And in their caregiving, they shall reflect the kingdom of heaven.

Dear Lord, help me to flow with the Spirit and learn to flow with the other people and situations in my life. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Reflection:

Create your own simile. “For me, caregiving is like” . . . (now you fill in the blank).

*This devotion is taken from Jeanne Porter King’s book Caring Well: 90 Self-Care Devotions for the African American Caregiver.