Don't Let Doubt Take You Outಮಾದರಿ

Relationships Required

Relationships are a requirement of life. Like air is to the lungs and food is to the body, so relationships are to our soul and development. Without relationships, it’s impossible to become the person God created you to be. They not only bring fulfillment and joy to our lives, but they are also tools in the hands of God to refine our character and shape our personality. We can never learn to be selfless apart from people. We will never learn how to pray for our enemy if we isolate ourselves from our enemies. God uses people to form us and make us more like Jesus.

At some point, we’ve all been hurt by someone we trusted. Whether it was a friend, a loved one, or someone we looked up to, those wounds cut deep. And when trust is broken, or we’ve been betrayed, it’s easy to start doubting other people altogether. We put up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt again. But here’s the problem with walls: they don’t just keep the bad stuff out—they also keep out the good stuff. Pushing others away might feel like the safe choice, but it’s not the life God has for us. You and I weren’t created to live disconnected. We were made for community. Relationships are required.

We can see how relationships hold the ability to form our character from the life of Joseph in the Book of Genesis. Joseph goes from the best of times as his father’s favored child, to the worst of times with his brothers selling him into slavery, to the best of times overseeing Potiphar’s house, to the worst of times being falsely accused and thrown in prison, to being put in charge of the prison, to being forgotten, to becoming second-in-command of Pharaoh’s kingdom. Talk about emotional whiplash.

All along the way, Joseph had every reason not to trust people. He had been hurt so many times it would have been easy for him to grow bitter and angry. He could have justified giving up. Throwing in the towel. Building up walls to keep others out. But Joseph didn’t let his doubt and disappointment debilitate him. He didn’t become paralyzed by his pain. Joseph could have retaliated when his brothers came to him in need. He had every right to lash out and get even with his brothers for the pain they caused by throwing him in a pit and selling him into slavery, but God wanted to instruct Joseph in the grace of forgiveness. A quality so integrated into the character and nature of God that He would give His only Son to sinners so that we could understand how extraordinary grace truly is.

Grace is the one lesson God requires that we all learn, and the only way we can learn it is by being betrayed, let down, and disappointed. Learning to forgive others requires that others break your trust. That they do something so egregious that it requires grace—so momentous that it requires mercy. Forgiveness is a critical lesson in our character development because grace and mercy define our relationship with God. God is a really good forgiver, and He wants His children to become like Him.

When we look at the ups and downs of Joseph’s life, there’s one thing that remained consistent: his posture. Joseph kept an open posture toward God. Life open. Arms open. Regardless of the circumstances. And as a result, God stayed open to working in Joseph’s life and situations, even the ones he didn’t choose for himself. Many times we forget that God can work in any and every situation, and He specializes in the impossible ones. Often the only limitation is our posture: Are we looking up to God, crying out for His help, or are we consumed with the problem and angry with the people who got us there? Are we living with open arms of forgiveness, or are we putting up walls and burning bridges? It’s our response to our relationships that holds the key to our character and ultimately becoming more like Christ.

Prayer: God, thank you for being a God of grace and forgiveness. Help me to reflect your character by extending that same grace to others. Teach me to trust again, to believe the best about people, and to walk in forgiveness and freedom. Heal my heart where I’ve been hurt, and help me to be a peacemaker. In Jesus’ name, amen.