Rising Above the Rage: How to Overcome Angerಮಾದರಿ

While Paul doesn't identify anger as inherently sinful, he warns us against letting our anger become an occasion for sin. This isn't always easy, but not impossible. I suggest that if we're victorious over sinful anger, we must first understand where it comes from. What are the driving forces behind our anger? Just like kudzu, unless we get to the root of the matter, it will continue to grow at a frightening rate. While specific causes of anger are unique to each individual (and we should work to figure out what those are), there are a couple of overarching causes at work in our particular culture that we would do well to consider.

First, it's high time we admit we've become a culture that rewards outrage. The role models of our society aren't the peacemakers, the gentle, those willing to be loving and kind. If anything, those are the wimps, the losers, the irrelevant, and most likely, the ones to get run over. Instead, it's the fighters, the belligerent, who aren't going to take anything from anybody that we admire. Our heroes are those willing to do whatever it takes to make sure things go their way and woe to those who get in their way. Whether talking about social media, sports, the business world, politics, or even the church, rewards move toward those who can find something to get mad about and then foster anger in others. The notion of turning the other cheek when someone slaps us can be so irrelevant as to be laughable.

When we live in that atmosphere day after day, we can't help but be influenced by it. It creates sort of a greenhouse effect. Like a kudzu vine, the anger culture stealthily works its way into every area of our lives until it eventually becomes the norm, not the exception. We would do well to take a good long look at how our lives are impacted by a culture of anger because that's not who we're called to be. Jesus said,

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." – (John 13:35)

We are called to be different, and if the church shirks its responsibility, what hope does our culture have but to sink further and further into a cauldron of anger?

A second cause of anger is our unwillingness and our inability to suffer. As Brené Brown says, "Because we have lost the capacity to suffer, we turn our pain into anger. It's so much easier to cause pain than to feel pain." For many of us, a primary goal in life is avoiding pain at all costs. Whether the pain is physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, or relational, we want nothing to do with it, and we've developed all sorts of stratagems to make sure it stays away. Even though Jesus modeled a life of service, we're often unwilling to become vulnerable enough to serve others. Even though Jesus sacrificed his very life for our sake, we want to ensure our needs are met before sacrificing on behalf of others. Even though Jesus said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." – (Luke 9:23), we resent the opportunities to do those things.

Inevitably, though, suffering does find its way into our lives. That's simply part and parcel of living in a broken world. Still, instead of allowing suffering to mature us and make us more like Jesus, we get angry. We get angry with God, with those who may have caused the pain, and sometimes with innocent bystanders. How many children have been abused by parents who never dealt with their own abuse? How many husbands and wives have borne the wrath of their spouses because married life proved hard, and they were too immature to learn and grow from the pain? How many friendships, business partnerships, and churches have been torn asunder because the involved parties weren't willing to do the hard work of reconciliation?

I've mentioned two factors that can lead to anger, but there are many more. What others can you think of? What sort of situations can trigger your anger? Can you identify what may be driving your experience of anger?