Everyone Feels Lonely Sometimes

By Holley Gerth

Years ago, I had breakfast with a group of writer friends who gather once a year, women whose names you’d know and faces you’d recognize. The conversation drifted to talking about the challenge of finding true connection in our everyday lives. I felt surprised—I would never have guessed these women struggled with loneliness.

I’m discovering this is the secret every woman in the whole wide world tucks away inside: Sometimes we are lonely. It’s a hard thing to talk about in this era of friending, liking, and sharing with the entire universe. But being lonely is simply a symptom of being human, and sometimes it can even have unexpected gifts.

Loneliness teaches us better than perhaps anything else what we really want from community. For instance, if we tend to be lonely in groups, then we’re probably craving deeper one-on-one time.

Loneliness also prompts us to appreciate the people we do have in our lives. If we never felt their absence, it would be much harder to treasure their presence. To choose to love is to choose to be lonely sometimes.

Loneliness draws us closer to Jesus, who “loved us and gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:2). When no human relationship can fully satisfy the longings of our hearts, we realize we are looking for Someone beyond this world.

Loneliness challenges us to open up and let people in even when we’re afraid. If we never felt lonely, then we would never take the risk to be vulnerable. It’s no wonder the apostle John wrote, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God” (1 John 4:7). He knew that we would need to connect with others, and he reminded us of the source of the love we can share.

By the time that breakfast was over, I sensed a collective sigh of relief. Our struggles lose their power when we can share them with even one person. That day I learned loneliness is inevitable; feeling alone in it is optional.

Pray

God, thank You that I am never truly alone. In moments of loneliness, remind me what is true and help me to reach out to others and to You for the support I need. Give me eyes that see when others are lonely too, so I can be a comfort to them as well. Amen.