From Sorrow to Joy. How to Overcome Shame From Rejection.ಮಾದರಿ

Shame, a universal struggle, can result from our actions or the actions of others. It can consume us, leaving us in a state of despair. But God's word to us is "fear not".

Within all our lives are the elements for the perfect storm of shame. Suppose you have lived through difficult circumstances such as divorce, absent parents, financial strain, miscarriage, domestic violence, or sexual assault, to name a few. In that case, you understand just how difficult it is to overcome the emotion of shame. Shame is an emotion, but it can also become your identity, as the inner turmoil forces you to think, feel, and believe that you somehow deserve the difficulty because of your failure. Instead of living in the light of God's truth, some hide and allow the feelings of worthlessness to thrive in the darkness of their mind and hearts. What they have lived through defines them instead of the grace of seeing God's purpose through the trial.

For many years, I lived with this intense sorrow of shame. At first, I couldn't pinpoint this grief that ebbed and flowed into my life in different seasons that often led me to feel low, but more so than that, I wanted to hide from the world. For as long as I can remember, I believed I was just sad. Sad because I didn't have a relationship with my father. I was despondent because God allowed my daughter to pass in the night to SIDS. I was disappointed because the marriage I wanted so desperately to work and didn't. But this sorrow pierced the pit of my soul, and no matter how many times I'd let go and accept God's sovereignty, there was this recurring gnawing of sorrow.

It wasn't until my fortieth birthday, while on a beautiful ship amid the Caribbean, that this sorrow washed over me again. This time, I let out a belting cry, "Lord, please help, please show me why I am so sad. I am happy, I am thankful for all that you've done, and I don't take this life or even my very breath for granted, but I can't seem to shake this sadness." I went to the bathroom, wiped my makeup off, and cried.

That night, I dreamed, and in the dream, I was asking my mom, "But did he love me?" I was referring to my natural father, who passed away before I could build a relationship with him. The following day, as I journaled, I knew that God was revealing to me that I was living with and in shame, and the root was rejection. Although I had professed "I am God's beloved" through worship songs and was accepted in His family, I had not fully allowed this love and acceptance to fill every void.

This verse could be said, "Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; And the end of that mirth is heaviness." Proverbs 14:13 KJV. You see, although I experienced highs of laughter and true joy, it couldn't be sustained because I hadn't entirely surrendered every ache to God in exchange for contentment and thankfulness for everything God allowed and prevented from happening within my life.

In Isaiah 54, we see the allegory of what God promised to do with the forsaken and refused heart and life of a woman (Israel) who was subject to shame in her youth due to rejection. This chapter begins with a declaration of preparation for the blessings that will come through their desolation and barrenness. For a season, God allowed them to experience the sting of feeling forsaken, but God had mercy and hope in store for them. The same is true for you; God wants you to look to him in every season of life, especially when you are contrite in your heart because of your circumstances. No matter how desperate you feel, God may be working on something far more significant in you, but you must trust Him.

We will read this text over the next few days and practically parallel its principles. We will look at personal scenarios that pointed to God, revealing that I was living with shame and why this rejection is often more of an internal battle. God is not only our refuge and strength, but HE has become our greatest redeemer, repurchasing us from the consequences and emotional turmoil of our mistakes and the pain caused to us because of others' decisions.

Be encouraged.