Spiritual Leadership for Parents Of: Special Needsಮಾದರಿ

You Are “Withed”

I remember every little detail about the day we started our special needs journey as we welcomed our second child into the world, a beautiful daughter with Down Syndrome….

Hello, we are Dan and Elizabeth Thorndike, and we are the blessed parents of 5 kiddos, 3 of whom have special needs. We want to start this 5-day plan by simply saying “WE SEE YOU!” Those 3 words have had so much power and healing on our own journey. We see all that you do! We see sleepless nights, late evening therapies, and behavioral meltdowns. We see that this journey is hard on marriages and friendships, and it can feel so, so lonely. We see that you want to change the world for your tribe, and we see you huddled and crying in the closet when you are at your breaking point. “WE SEE YOU.” We have been there, and we continue to go there. Our journeys are full. They are raw at times and at other times beautiful. At times they are full of tears and full of celebration in others. Each is different, yet as parents, we all have the same grit, determination, and desire to persevere. However, we do not have a cape. We do not have superpowers. We get utterly exhausted, yet we rise. We get up every day, put on our armor, and take one breath at a time. We all need the love and strength of a Heavenly Father. We cannot do this walk alone. We need Him.

Thank you for joining us on this 5-day journey. The word of God has been our saving grace on this beautiful and unique walk. Join us as we share some of our favorite bible passages. It is an honor to be with you…

It was a beautiful sunny day in March. As soon as our precious girl was delivered, I knew she had Down Syndrome…(even before the doctors). A mama just knows. When she stared at me for the first time, her big blue eyes looked straight into my soul. In that moment…I fell deeply in love. I also had so much pain in the shock of it all. I was scared! I knew a little about Down Syndrome, but I did not know how her life would play out. Would she be treated well by her community? Would she be okay medically? Would she thrive in school? So many thoughts swirled in my head. In my grief, I shouted in the delivery room “God I need to see you in this!”

Immediately I remembered the verse: Deuteronomy 31:8“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

In my heart, I knew that this was His plan. He formed Shelby in my womb (Psalm 139:13-14), and I knew He would walk this journey with us…all of us.

Over the next hour, God totally showed himself amid all the uncertainty and grief. He is such a compassionate father. He knew exactly what I needed. First, the head nurse took over the room and encouraged me to grieve. She handed my sweet girl to my sister-in-law and allowed me the space to not be okay. She allowed me the grace to become completely undone. I cried hard and loud. My husband and I held each other and grieved. We grieved about what we thought would be, and the unknown of what was. We grieved long enough to return to celebration. We felt God’s presence so tangibly.

There have been many things that have occurred over the last 12 years, good and hard, and I can faithfully say that God has been with us through all of it! In some moments He has held us, and in others, He has given us wisdom. There are times we have felt alone, but there has always been a voice, whether through a friend, teacher, or even a random stranger, that reminds us God is near. He cares for us and our beautiful journey. We don’t need to be our daughter’s everything because He is. He walks with her too.

Whether I am on my knees crying in the closet or jumping off the bleachers like a crazy lady when my girl makes a basket, He is with me. Remembering and reading his promises is how I take each step. This is the only way that I have survived, even thrived, on our unique journey. We can access all His heavenly promises and we can be okay.

So friends, lean into God’s word… post it on your mirrors, your coffee makers, and in your cars. His promises are real and sometimes needed just to get through a hard moment or a long day.