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It’s About Our Reactions

Spiritual maturity is a jewel that often is overlooked. Its hallmark often lies in our reactions. A commonly quoted saying states, “It’s impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.” That strikes at the heart of a significant truth: our emotional reactions are a mirror of our spiritual growth. This doesn’t imply a lack of emotion but rather the demonstration of grace, understanding, and control during emotional situations.

Think about it—how do we react when we encounter conflicts or face problems? Do we resort to anger, bitterness, or even the silent treatment? Do we immediately jump to worst-case scenarios? These knee-jerk reactions might suggest areas where we need to mature emotionally.

The Bible instructs us in Romans 12:17–18: "Do not repay evil for evil... live at peace with everyone." It encourages us to seek wisdom, approach situations thoughtfully, and strive to maintain peace whenever possible. This doesn't mean that everything will always be smooth. There could still be disagreements, conflicts, and even lawsuits. Nevertheless, our reactions should be underpinned by a godly perspective, not driven by selfish impulses.

Interestingly, science offers a complementary perspective to this spiritual insight. According to Dr. Jill Taylor, a neuroscientist from Harvard, it takes about 90 seconds for our body to process an emotion fully. If we can practice patience and restraint, allowing the wave of emotion to wash over us before responding, our reactions might be more thoughtful and constructive. It takes effort, but with practice, this approach can help us regain control of our emotions and, ultimately, our responses.

As leaders and adults, we don’t always have the luxury of reacting emotionally. When confronted with a crisis, a difficult situation, or a challenging conversation, our first task is to process the information thoughtfully so that we can respond in a manner that moves the situation forward, not backward.

Consider this example: Imagine you’re at a stoplight, enjoying a beautiful day, and you observe a man overreacting to a minor inconvenience, such as a cyclist crossing the road a bit too slowly. Despite his apparent success— indicated by a nice car and fashionable attire—his outburst of anger reveals turmoil. This situation serves as a reminder that our reactions often unveil the true state of our hearts.

As we grow spiritually mature, we learn to navigate our emotions, allowing for considered, controlled responses that align with our spiritual growth. The journey isn’t always easy, but it is crucial. The greater our ability to respond wisely and lovingly, the more peace we’ll find in our relationships and within ourselves.