The Joy Of Letting Goಮಾದರಿ

Alma Mother

There was a plan. We had a plan. And when I say “we,” what I mean to say is “I.” I went to college. In fact, I was a first-generation college graduate. My husband, Chip, went to college. He attended four schools on the journey to find himself. I am an educator, and I believed going to college was the best (only?) path. So it was a given that our children would be college-bound too. It was a frequent topic of dinnertime conversation throughout their growing up—frequent enough that neither could claim ignorance, but not so frequent that they hid their distaste for it like peas under their mashed potatoes.

Our firstborn went to college; in fact, he attended my alma mater. He lived on campus but was close enough to come home whenever he wanted. I worked on that campus, so he bought me a cup of coffee now and then. His brother was heading in the same direction. He was accepted, he had a dorm room reserved, and his first semester’s schedule was set. Everything was going according to plan. All that remained was to successfully complete the last semester of his senior year in high school, and then he would start college midsummer, not even waiting for the fall. Getting there wasn’t easy. School for Charles was like riding a bicycle through the mud—slow going and taking a lot of energy just to stay upright.

He knew how to ride a bike, but we should have chosen a path made for his type of tires.

The semester came to an end, resulting in a lower-than-expected GPA. His acceptance to college now rescinded. Our son was relieved. I, on the other hand, was mystified. He didn’t want to go to college?

He wanted to go to technical school. It took a degree of self-sabotage on Charles’s part for me to finally see that I needed to let go of my plan so he could embrace his. He needed to choose his own path.

Sometimes what you think is the best choice may not be the right choice. We need to allow our kids to tell us they don’t like peas so they don’t have to resort to hiding them under their mashed potatoes. What’s the worst that could happen? If you offer a variety, they might discover they like another green vegetable instead. In the end, it’s their life.

Is your children’s path built for the kind of tires they have? Did they choose the destination? You can trust that God will make their path known to them.