Desperate for Hope: Questions We Ask God in Suffering, Loss, and Longingಮಾದರಿ

Acknowledging grief is an important part of healing from a loss. While not everyone processes grief the same way—some internally, others externally—ignoring loss and pretending that it never happened isn’t healthy. Yet stoicism is often admired in the Christian community, which implies that grief is a weakness. But in reality, it takes courage and hard work to grieve. Grief is not a frailty of character or a failure to trust God but rather a critical and God-given part of healing. It is the natural and proper response to the loss of something or someone that was loved or valued. It is necessary and can’t be ignored.

If there are losses you’ve never mourned—times of grief you’ve never processed—record those in a journal. Take a few minutes to write out your thoughts. Grieving is a process, and this is just the first step, so you may need to come back to this later.

Jesus’s not coming sooner must have wounded and disappointed Martha, yet she still went to Him as He approached.

I wish my initial response to people when they hurt or disappoint me is to confront them directly. But usually, I’ll do everything but go to them. I often try to ignore the problem, which can lead to avoidance, while I add to my running mental list (which I regularly review) of how they’ve wronged me. The relationship then grows distant until one of us is brave enough to start the conversation. Only when I have the courage to tell someone how I feel and hear that person’s perspective as well, does our relationship become stronger.

Think about the ways you’ve responded to people who have hurt you. Compare that to the way you respond to God in your suffering. How has your response to God affected your relationship with Him?

In John 11, Martha immediately affirmed her confidence in Jesus’s relationship to the Father, as well as her belief in the Old Testament doctrine of resurrection (vv. 22,24). But Jesus did not want her just to believe in resurrection on the final day; He was also calling her to believe in Him and His power to raise Lazarus that day.

Verses 25 and 26 are pivotal statements about the gospel. We can be assured of eternal life when we believe in Jesus. He is the resurrection and the life, and if we believe in Him, even when we die, we will live forever. These words applied not only to Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in that day, but to all of us today.

Today, read John 11:17-44, this time focusing on verses 17-27.