Setting Boundaries for Toxic Peopleಮಾದರಿ

The Healthy Balance of Forgiveness and Boundaries

Jesus did not associate with the Pharisees, Pilate, or Herod after His resurrection. Up until the cross, Jesus was in their midst. However, after the cross, Jesus did not go back to them to prove to them who He was, or to seek some sort of reconciliation with them. Instead, He distanced Himself from them and focused on His close disciples.

From this example, I see that it is important to set up boundaries with people who do not repent and are toxic. You cannot blame difficult people for your unhappiness if you do not distance yourself from them.

Forgiving evil people does not mean you have to be their friend. Forgiveness does not restore trust and does not bring closeness. Yes, it gives you an opportunity for restoration, but trust is rebuilt over time, and restoration takes two repentant people, not one.

We see that Jesus forgave, but the Pharisees never repented.

You would think that the strategic move after the cross would be for Jesus to show Himself before the Pharisees and tell them they were wrong. But Jesus did not give them any attention. They actually carried the idea that Jesus never rose from the dead, but Jesus did not destroy that idea personally. I wonder why?!

Forgiveness is a gift, and it should be given instantly; but, restoration is not a gift. Do not make yourself miserable once again by closely associating with the same difficult people who have hurt you again and again.

There has to be a balance. If you have forgiven them, move on and distance yourself from them.

Let's Pray:

Father, thank You for Your Son Jesus because we can learn so much from His life here on Earth. There are people in my life who have hurt me. Teach me first to forgive them as You have forgiven me. Teach me to set up healthy boundaries with them, like Jesus did with the Pharisees after His resurrection.