Beat Your Shame the Jesus Wayಮಾದರಿ

Forgive The Jesus Way

When we deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse it is crucial to know that it was not our fault. Guilt and shame can follow you to your grave, but with Christ, we have the opportunity to be set free completely in every area of our lives—body, soul, and spirit.

To be set free, one must stop blaming oneself. Instead, you should blame the right person. The blame for your hurt and pain is on your abuser, not you. And behind the abuser is the biggest thief and our greatest enemy on earth, the devil.

John 10:10 reads: “The thief comes, to steal, and to kill, and to destroy”.

When we face such an enemy, we can only beat him with the power of God’s weapons. Grace and forgiveness are undeniably some of the most powerful weapons you can have in your arsenal. Our earthly weapons and ways of revenge do not produce victory.

Let us look at the concept of forgiveness for a moment.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment toward a person who has harmed you.

Forgiving those who abused you does not mean that you have to reconcile with them or sit around the same table. Forgiveness is more than that. You can forgive and still seek justice, especially when the abuse continues and affects others.

Forgiveness can be a process. Forgiveness is not closing this process without healing and cleaning the wound. Forgiveness is not shoving everything under the carpet. Forgiveness does not excuse wrong behavior. Forgiveness is working through the pain, accepting what has occurred in your past, and deciding how to find hope for the future. Forgiveness is freeing ourselves. Forgiveness is a change of heart. Forgiveness is living The Jesus Way.

So, how does this “way” look in real life?

Well, Jesus prayed. Even in his last moment, Jesus asked “Father, forgive them” while they tortured Him, hung Him, and killed Him.

You might think, “Yes, but that is Jesus. Only He could have done that. This supernatural, mind-blowing grace does not apply to us.” But, if you are a believer then it does mean that this applies to you.

Depending on how you look at life, for us, as followers of Christ, we have the privilege to follow Christ wholeheartedly. That means “as He is, so are we in this world” (1 John 4:17-19.) He has called us to a higher standard of living: the standard of His Kingdom.

God would not ask us to live in a way that is not possible. It might be hard, but not impossible. His way of loving others is freeing and liberating to us.

Jesus has called us to live a life just as radical as His. He profoundly loved people. He loved those that were hated by others. He excused the inexcusable. He saw good in people when others saw evil. He even built His church with Peter who betrayed Him!

He called us to love as He had loved. He even said people will know that we are followers of Jesus when they look at us. People will know we are His when we love each other as He loves us. (John 13:34-35)

That seems almost impossible.

It is easy to love your friends, those who care for you, and those that treat you fair. It is hard to love a pedophile, a child abuser, and a rapist. They do not deserve love, right? For many years I thought Jesus was on my side by loving all people except those who abuse children. I almost did not classify such a person as a human. I did not understand God’s love yet.

This type of love is only possible with His grace, mercy, and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Reflection:

Do you struggle to forgive? Do you feel burdened by your past? Will you allow God’s word to change your heart so you can be free from what is keeping you in the past?

God loves you; He does not want you to live in bondage. He has already paid the price for your freedom on the cross. If you still suffer in the present, keep holding on. There is hope.

Prayer for today:

Lord, forgiveness is hard. Help me to look to you for strength to face what has happened to me and to deal with my hurt and pain. Help me to see what you see. Shower me with your grace and mercy so that I can stay on the path of forgiveness and healing.

Teach me your ways. The ways of your Kingdom.

Amen.