Genesis 45
Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Genesis 45

Joseph Deals Kindly with His Brothers

1 Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried, “Have everyone go out from me.” So there was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard of it. 3 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence.

4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 “Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6 “For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. 7 “God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. 8 “Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt. 9 “Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, “God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay. 10 “You shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have. 11 “There I will also provide for you, for there are still five years of famine to come, and you and your household and all that you have would be impoverished.”’ 12 “Behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth which is speaking to you. 13 “Now you must tell my father of all my splendor in Egypt, and all that you have seen; and you must hurry and bring my father down here.” 14 Then he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. 15 He kissed all his brothers and wept on them, and afterward his brothers talked with him.

16 Now when the news was heard in Pharaoh’s house that Joseph’s brothers had come, it pleased Pharaoh and his servants. 17 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Say to your brothers, ‘Do this: load your beasts and go to the land of Canaan, 18 and take your father and your households and come to me, and I will give you the best of the land of Egypt and you will eat the fat of the land.’ 19 “Now you are ordered, ‘Do this: take wagons from the land of Egypt for your little ones and for your wives, and bring your father and come. 20 ‘Do not concern yourselves with your goods, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.’”

21 Then the sons of Israel did so; and Joseph gave them wagons according to the command of Pharaoh, and gave them provisions for the journey. 22 To each of them he gave changes of garments, but to Benjamin he gave three hundred pieces of silver and five changes of garments. 23 To his father he sent as follows: ten donkeys loaded with the best things of Egypt, and ten female donkeys loaded with grain and bread and sustenance for his father on the journey.

24 So he sent his brothers away, and as they departed, he said to them, “Do not quarrel on the journey.” 25 Then they went up from Egypt, and came to the land of Canaan to their father Jacob. 26 They told him, saying, “Joseph is still alive, and indeed he is ruler over all the land of Egypt.” But he was stunned, for he did not believe them. 27 When they told him all the words of Joseph that he had spoken to them, and when he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of their father Jacob revived. 28 Then Israel said, “It is enough; my son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.”

Unpacking Genesis 45

This study is going to waterski through Genesis 42 to 49 to look at Joseph’s forgiveness of and reconciliation with his brothers.

When it comes to the life of Joseph, the story is so familiar that we may forget the ultimate point. Even though Joseph’s life is incredibly inspiring to us personally, it is ultimately about God’s faithfulness to His people and how He preserved them through a divinely appointed period of incubation in Egypt. For that incubation period to come about, Joseph had to be reconciled with his brothers.

In our last study, Joseph’s brothers were bitter because of the special treatment Jacob gave to him. They sold him into slavery, and he was shipped off to Egypt. He started out as a slave in Potiphar’s house, later became imprisoned, and eventually was appointed to second-in-command in Egypt.

Genesis 42 opens 20 years after Joseph was first sold into slavery. He was a slave and imprisoned for 13 years, but he has now been ruling Egypt for around 7 or 8 years. The famine that was prophesied back in Genesis 41 is in full swing.

In the land of Canaan, Jacob and his family are in a desperate situation. Jacob heard Egypt had food and sent his sons to Egypt to buy grain, though he didn’t send Benjamin along with them.

When Jacob’s sons arrive in Egypt, they are brought before Joseph in Genesis 42:6, but they do not recognize him. Naturally, they bow before him, the very thing they scorned 20 years earlier (they’ll also bow to him in Genesis 44:11 and 50:18).

The next sequence of events might be difficult to follow, but we must understand that Joseph is seeking to determine if he can trust his brothers and be reconciled with them. After all, they sold him into slavery!

We also need to understand Joseph has already forgiven his brothers. Remember, he is second in command in Egypt. He could have executed them immediately! The fact that he does not shows he has already forgiven them.

The question is, can he be reconciled to them? To answer that question, we need to understand the differences between “forgiveness” and “reconciliation.”

Jesus taught on forgiveness in Matthew 18 and the Parable of the Unforgiving Slave. Jesus showed us that granting forgiveness is similar to releasing a person from debt. We release them by not requiring them to pay us back the damage they have caused us. This means forgiveness may cost us more than it costs the other person. That’s how it is. We absorb the pain and hurt they have inflicted upon us and do not require them to “heal” our hurts. That is why forgiveness requires us to be in fellowship with God. His love has to heal us and then flow through us to the other person. When we forgive other people, we reflect the kind of forgiveness God gave us.

Sometimes, people don’t want to forgive because they think it means they will have to let the other person off the hook and that person will walk all over them. That is not the case. Forgiveness is about releasing a person from paying us back what they owe us. Reconciliation is different. Reconciliation is about being restored to a harmonious path with that person. A harmonious path of reconciliation usually requires difficult conversations where both talk through what it means to be in harmony and how to go forward.

We are commanded to forgive all people (Matthew 6:15), and we are also commanded to seek reconciliation with everyone (Romans 12:18). Even if we pursue reconciliation, sometimes it’s just not possible. In our passage, this is what Joseph is seeking to determine. Joseph has already forgiven his brothers, but can he be reconciled with them?

When we read these chapters, we need to understand this “back-and-forth” sequence of events is not about Joseph punishing his brothers or giving them a bunch of hoops to jump through. He’s laying out an incredibly wise series of “tests” to see if his brothers desired, and were capable of, true reconciliation.

The first test comes in Genesis 42:9 when Joseph calls his brothers “spies.” In verses 15-17, he puts them into prison until someone agrees to stay back while the rest return to Canaan to get Benjamin. Joseph waits three days, but his brothers cannot decide who will stay back. They have failed the first test, but Joseph does not give up.

In verses 18 and 19, he tells them he is a God-fearing man, so he chooses Simeon to stay back (verse 24). During this episode, his brothers squabble among themselves with accusations going all the way back to when they first sold Joseph into slavery. Joseph understood what they were saying and wept at their words. Perhaps reconciliation was possible.

They leave and return to Jacob, who was still living in the Land of Canaan. When they explain they need to bring Benjamin back, Jacob refuses. Think about that. Jacob would rather have Simeon die alone in an Egyptian jail than risk Benjamin’s life. Not good.

Reuben responds in verse 37 that if they do not bring Benjamin back, Jacob could kill his two boys. Obviously, Jacob doesn’t jump at the thought of killing his grandsons, so he declines Reuben’s offer. Thank you, but no.

Jacob and his sons all fail Joseph’s test for reconciliation.

This takes us to chapter 43.

In chapter 43, verse 2, their food runs out. Now things are serious. They are on the verge of dying, and Jacob realizes he is going to lose Benjamin to starvation anyway, so he agrees to let Benjamin go to Egypt. They all head off.

In Genesis 43:16, when Joseph sees them coming, he diverts them to his own house. This probably seemed extremely bizarre to them, but they had no choice but to comply.

At Joseph’s house, he assigns their seats according to their birth order. This was strange. How did he know their birth order? To make things even stranger, in verse 34, Joseph gets up from his own table and gives them some of his own food. Then he gives Benjamin five times as much as everyone else!

This is another test. Are they going to be bitter over the favoritism shown to Benjamin? If they were bitter over favoritism to Benjamin, they would probably still be bitter over Joseph too.

However, the brothers do much better with this test. Verse 34 says they feasted and drank freely. There were no signs of bitterness. They simply accepted Benjamin’s blessings! This was definitely an improvement! But there was still more work to be done.

Skimming along to chapter 44, as Joseph’s brothers are about to leave to go back to the land of Canaan, Joseph contrives a scenario where Benjamin will be accused of theft. If Joseph’s brothers let Benjamin get carted off to jail, and if they are relieved to be finally rid of the last of Jacob’s favorite sons, then Joseph will know they had not changed, and Benjamin can live out his years with Joseph in Egypt. But if they stood up for Benjamin and refused to let him go, Joseph would know they were changed men and true reconciliation was possible.

To make a long story short, Joseph’s plan works perfectly, and Benjamin is about to be carted off to jail. In Genesis 44:18, Judah falls before Joseph and pours out a profound plea for mercy. In verse 18, Judah acknowledges Joseph is equal to Pharaoh. In verse 30, he explains his father’s life is bound up with Benjamin. In verse 33, he begs to be allowed to become Joseph’s slave so Benjamin could go home!

The self-sacrificing love shown here might even bring a tear to our eyes. Joseph’s brothers have an opportunity to get rid of Jacob’s favorite son once and for all! But instead, Judah begs for Benjamin’s release and even asks to be enslaved in his place! It is clear these are changed men. True reconciliation then begins in Genesis 45.

In Genesis 45:3, Joseph cries out, “I am Joseph!” They’re stunned and can’t figure out what’s going on, so he comes closer to them and says in verse 4, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.” You can see in that statement Joseph has not forgotten what they did to him, but he has forgiven them.

Verse 5 begins the necessary steps toward reconciliation. In Genesis 45:5, Joseph says, “Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.”

Then, in verse 7, he said, “God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt.”

To make a long story somewhat short, first, they have a group hug. Then, they prepare to go back home and get Jacob. Pharaoh gave them abundant gifts and provisions for the journey. Suspecting that they might have some “intense fellowship” on the way home, Joseph admonishes his brothers in Genesis 45:24, saying, “Do not quarrel on the journey.”

They arrive back home and tell Jacob that Joseph is still alive! He’s blown away, and they all move to Egypt. In chapter 47, Jacob meets Pharaoh and blesses him twice. They all move to Goshen and live as shepherds. In Genesis 49, Jacob blesses his sons before passing away, and those blessings become profound prophecies for the children of Israel, which we look at in our next study.

This is a beautiful, profound, and very relatable section of scripture; however, we need to remember that this is about much more than the principles of forgiveness and reconciliation. These divinely appointed events were necessary for God to preserve His people.

It wasn’t enough that Joseph would be enslaved to Egypt. He needed to rise to a position of power to bring about the salvation of that whole region. It wasn’t enough the people would be saved from starvation; the children of Israel needed to move to Egypt and stay there for 400+ years of incubation. That move came about as the result of Joseph’s righteous pursuit of reconciliation with the very people he had every right to pour his wrath upon. He did not. Instead, he forgave and reconciled, and his descendants were preserved.

So, these passages are ultimately about the salvation and preservation of God’s people. This salvation and preservation comes against the backdrop of a flawed family that needed to learn how to forgive and reconcile. There is much to ponder as we consider the principles from these chapters.

Study and Discussion Questions

Listening to the Key Chapters Podcast on this chapter provides further insights into the following questions.

1. What events in Joseph’s life led up to these chapters? How did Joseph respond to them? Where did his ability to respond this way come from? Does your walk with the Lord reflect similar strength? Why or why not?

2. What do you think of how Joseph responded when he first re-met his brothers? How might you have responded if you saw your brothers for the first time decades after they sold you into slavery?

3. The study explained that forgiveness is when we do not require a person to repay a debt. What debt did Joseph’s brothers owe Joseph? Have you ever received this kind of forgiveness? Have you ever extended this kind of forgiveness?

4. The study made a distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. How are they different? How is this distinction helpful when working through complex and painful issues between us and someone else?

5. How is Genesis 40-45 an example of the difficult work that goes into forgiveness and reconciliation? Why does Joseph have his brothers go through all these different tests? How did their responses demonstrate a true heart change in their lives?

6. Joseph’s brothers failed many of his tests, yet Joseph kept seeking reconciliation with them. Would you have been willing to put this much effort into it? Have you tried this hard to reconcile with someone? How did it go?

7. How did Joseph respond when he saw the heart change of his brothers? How did this move them down the path toward true forgiveness and reconciliation?

8. What spiritual principles can we learn and apply from Genesis 45:5 and Genesis 50:19? How might these two verses relate to our lives when we face difficulty and adversity?

9. What was the outcome (short-term and long-range) of Joseph and his brothers being able to work through these issues and coming to a place of true forgiveness and reconciliation? How do we still enjoy the benefit of their reconciliation?