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## What to Say, When They Don’t Play (Lessons Learned from the Bench)
READY:
> “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” –Psalm 34:18
SET: This bench is hard!
Most likely, your child will experience the hurt and confusion of little or no playing time. There will come a day when a coach decides your child will be playing a reserve role on their team. You likely will be thinking, “why can’t the coach see the potential in my child?” or “what’s wrong with the coach’s judgment” or “what does the coach have against my kid?”
Whatever your initial reaction, you need to know that helping your disappointed child through their time on the bench is an opportunity for growth.
When I think back over the years of my = children’s sports experiences, there were many seasons of frustration when one was relegated to reserve status. There were summer nights driving home from neighboring cities, after youth travel baseball games, when a son did not get playing time; the years after a daughter came back from a major injury to play on her high school basketball team, only to realize she had “lost a step” and would be a reserve for her three remaining years on that team; the years a son played D-1 college football, only to get on the field occasionally.
I hurt for my children during those times. What parent doesn’t want to see their child thrive in something they long for? All these circumstances were opportunities for my children to learn, mature, and develop other skills that would help them for a lifetime. Life experiences impart life skills like perseverance, unselfishness, and work ethic. God can use any situation and turn it around for our good. Teach them how to look at these disappointments through the eyes of God. Your child’s sports participation just might be the very experience God will use to develop them into mature followers of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful for the hard times that produced different fruit in their lives.
Consider these tips as you help your child athlete thrive while riding the bench:
1\. Don’t blame the coach in front of your child.
2\. Be transparent with your child about disappointments in your own life. Tell them how you felt and what you learned from such disappointments.
3\. Listen! Be that outlet that allows your child to express his or her frustration.
Ask God to help you understand the Scriptures below and be able to use them to encourage your athlete child frustrated with limited or no playing time.
WORKOUT: Bible Discussion
Hebrews 12:11
Jeremiah 29:11
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Romans 8:28
GO:
1\. How might one or more of the Scriptures help you offer your child a Biblical perspective about their lack of playing time?
2\. What is being promised in Romans 8:28?
3\. What is your one “big idea” or take away from these Scriptures?
OVERTIME: Practice Session
1\. Spend some time considering who is more frustrated with your child’s lack of playing time—your child or you? Seek God concerning your own frustrations.
2\. Ask your child to brainstorm about things he or she can do to be the best teammate while riding the bench. (i.e., cheering on teammates, focused skillset practice, praying for your team, and confessing jealousy/envy…)
What to Say? Testimonial
READY:
> “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” –Psalm 34:18
SET: This bench is hard!
Most likely, your child will experience the hurt and confusion of little or no playing time. There will come a day when a coach decides your child will be playing a reserve role on their team. You likely will be thinking, “why can’t the coach see the potential in my child?” or “what’s wrong with the coach’s judgment” or “what does the coach have against my kid?”
Whatever your initial reaction, you need to know that helping your disappointed child through their time on the bench is an opportunity for growth.
When I think back over the years of my = children’s sports experiences, there were many seasons of frustration when one was relegated to reserve status. There were summer nights driving home from neighboring cities, after youth travel baseball games, when a son did not get playing time; the years after a daughter came back from a major injury to play on her high school basketball team, only to realize she had “lost a step” and would be a reserve for her three remaining years on that team; the years a son played D-1 college football, only to get on the field occasionally.
I hurt for my children during those times. What parent doesn’t want to see their child thrive in something they long for? All these circumstances were opportunities for my children to learn, mature, and develop other skills that would help them for a lifetime. Life experiences impart life skills like perseverance, unselfishness, and work ethic. God can use any situation and turn it around for our good. Teach them how to look at these disappointments through the eyes of God. Your child’s sports participation just might be the very experience God will use to develop them into mature followers of Jesus Christ. I’m grateful for the hard times that produced different fruit in their lives.
Consider these tips as you help your child athlete thrive while riding the bench:
1\. Don’t blame the coach in front of your child.
2\. Be transparent with your child about disappointments in your own life. Tell them how you felt and what you learned from such disappointments.
3\. Listen! Be that outlet that allows your child to express his or her frustration.
Ask God to help you understand the Scriptures below and be able to use them to encourage your athlete child frustrated with limited or no playing time.
WORKOUT: Bible Discussion
Hebrews 12:11
Jeremiah 29:11
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Romans 8:28
GO:
1\. How might one or more of the Scriptures help you offer your child a Biblical perspective about their lack of playing time?
2\. What is being promised in Romans 8:28?
3\. What is your one “big idea” or take away from these Scriptures?
OVERTIME: Practice Session
1\. Spend some time considering who is more frustrated with your child’s lack of playing time—your child or you? Seek God concerning your own frustrations.
2\. Ask your child to brainstorm about things he or she can do to be the best teammate while riding the bench. (i.e., cheering on teammates, focused skillset practice, praying for your team, and confessing jealousy/envy…)
What to Say? Testimonial
About this Plan
Have you ever argued with your child or spouse after a game? Have you ever wanted to confront your child’s coach? Have youth sports completely seized your family life? If you’ve had similar experiences, then this 12-day plan is for you.
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