Exodus: Stop Walking in Circlesಮಾದರಿ

"Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go." Joshua 1:7

Have you ever reached a goal and it wasn’t what you thought it would be? Maybe it seemed impossible, or it just didn’t look how you thought it would. Have you ever had to start over? I have. I have had to start over with nothing.

Running for my life when I escaped my trafficker was the hardest, scariest decision I’d ever made. Because I was leaving with nothing. I had no social capital, no education. Not even a pillow or fork to my name. I slept on couches and got on food stamps. But getting “rescued” from human trafficking wasn’t what I imagined. I had escaped on my trafficker, yes but now I had a huge gap in job history, a criminal record, and a ton of PTSD. Plus, I was put right back to the same vulnerabilities that led to trafficking in the first place. Talk about walking in circles.

I remember thinking Now What? Now, What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

One night I sat at my kitchen table and got mad at God, “Is this really what you saved me for? Is this the abundant life that the church talks about? This is freedom? Poverty? I don’t want this either.”

God replied, “If you give Me the same amount of time you gave the enemy, I’ll never be outdone.”

Alright, Jesus, you got six years. Six years to show me what he was made of. Was that the right attitude? Probably not, but I believe we can be honest with him about how we feel - he can handle it. He knows our hearts, our neurology, and how our past traumas impact our decisions. I longed to see him work in my life. I longed to move forward and make a life for myself and my daughter. I decided to partner with him and put in the work.

Things got radically better - it wasn’t easy. Turning your life around is hard. It’s digging your heels in when you want to run and go back to what’s familiar instead of trying to navigate this new world that you know nothing about. It’s determining in your heart that you will do the opposite of what your brain is telling you to do. It’s strengthening your spirit and saying no to your flesh. Its understanding that neurology and trauma are real and working deliberately to take thoughts captive till they form new pathways in Christ.

It’s having a “come to Jesus” moment with yourself and recognizing that some new habits, new behaviors, and a new structure will be necessary to move you into your NEXT.

And hey, I’m still working on it. Those 6 years ended long ago and together we’ve strengthened a lot about my character and healed many areas of hurt - but I still have a long way to go.

The Hebrews also may have been expecting to transition immediately into their promise and take possession of their new land and freedom. They had lived under Egyptian law for hundreds of years. Every decision was dictated, every choice made for them. How could they possibly move into a new land, protect themselves from invaders, and begin to build a new kingdom? They couldn’t. Not yet. They just weren’t ready, and I’m sure at the moment they couldn’t see it.

After all, they had made a dramatic exit from Egypt with Pharaoh hot on their heels. They witnessed miraculous walls of water standing at attention as they crossed the red sea on a dry riverbed. They had been given manna and water from rocks. They knew He was able. And now they were walking in circles, camping like nomads without any fighting training to protect from invaders who had heard that the Hebrews had all of Egypt’s gold. They were waiting to move into Canaan, to take it over, and God said wait! They had seen the miracle deliverance from Pharaoh. Why wouldn’t God deliver them into the land of milk and honey with the same flair?

God knew they weren’t ready. He said that he was not able to bring “these stiff-necked people” into the promised land because they were not learning the lessons they needed to accomplish all that was possible and available. They had not developed the strength, tenacity, faith, or skillsets needed to move forward. They had been living in slavery for generations, but they didn’t understand that they weren’t ready to move immediately into the promised land.

And so, two million Israelite people began to settle in camps on Mount Sinai to wait for a word from the Lord. I can imagine the thoughts and questions they must have had right away as God told them to pause indefinitely in order to prepare them and teach them the lessons they would need to know before they continued.

It’s hard to be in transition, isn’t it? It feels like we’re stuck. It feels like walking in circles, honestly. Sometimes God calls us to a long season of waiting while he prepares us for what’s next. It can be exhausting. We face burnout, discouragement, and disappointment. But we are called to keep going, keep trusting. Just like the Hebrews, if we can learn to trust him and hear his voice, he will lead the way.

Prayer:
Father, I trust you. You are who you say you are, and your timing is perfect. Help me not to doubt. Give me eyes to see the things you are doing and the ways you are working. Strengthen us in the waiting. Lead us, Lord. We thank you for the time we’ve spent together dipping into all that you have for us. Be with us as we walk from one season to the next.