Stuck

We need to be mindful of some misconceptions about grief because three-to-five years from now your grief can be as intense and raw as it is right now if it's not walked through.

This devotional time will help you determine if you’re stuck. And if so, it will help you get unstuck. If your grief is fresh, our desire is to prevent you from getting stuck. This will help you identify several common misconceptions that hinder healing. 

1. Time Heals

Time alone can't heal. Only God, in the person of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit can provide true healing.

2. Stay Busy

Staying busy just postpones your healing. It is important for you to take time to work through your grief with the Lord. 

3. But I'm the Caregiver

Right now you need to be cared for. Allow God, through others, to care for you in this season of grief. Remember, He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).

4. God Took My Loved One

Our loved ones belong to God; they are just on loan to us. God blesses us with some wonderfully loving people in our lives, but we all belong to Him.

5. Healing=Forgetting

True healing means remembering the good and letting go of the bad. Though you may never forget how much pain you’ve endured, as you work through your grief, the pain should decrease to a point where you can remember the good times with your loved one and smile. 

6. Progress is steady

Grief is messy, and complicated; and your progress will, most likely, not be steady.

Now, here are some important points to remember as you work through your grief.

1. Get and stay connected with a support group. Don’t isolate yourself!!! 

This will help you process the feelings you're experiencing. We aren’t meant to do life (or walk through loss and grief) alone; we are always better together!

2. Take care of yourself, remember the acronym DEER.

• Drink enough fluids
• Eat a proper diet
• Exercise
• Rest

In Psalm 23, King David writes beautifully about how God took care of him in his time of need. We encourage you to read Psalm 23 and discover other passages in the Bible that describe how God has provided for someone in need.

3. Don't obey your feelings

Dr. Joseph Stowell said, “We can’t let our emotions drive the train during our time of grief.” Just because you feel something intensely, that doesn't make it right, true, or helpful. Ask the Lord to search your heart and help you process your feelings 

4. Worship God

Brad Hambrick tells us, "In the midst of grief, worship looks different. The rawness of worship in the midst of grief will feel awkward." Job stood up and tore his robe in grief, then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave.The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord” (Job 1:20-21 NLT).

 5. Be grateful

In your time of grief it may be difficult to be grateful, but it's not only vital, it's also good for your mental and physical health to practice thankfulness. Take some time to write down the things that were special about your loved one. Thank God for those attributes, memories, and the legacy left behind. Isaiah 61:3 reminds us that God gives us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

6. Put God on display

Praising and trusting God in the midst of your grief may be difficult, but choosing to do so will be beneficial in your healing.

Here are a few verses to reflect on and aid you in your praise of the Lord . . .

"Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name."—Psalm 63:3–4

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.”—1Thessalonians 4:13

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”—Proverbs 3:5–6

In our grief, God is our hope. When we trust in Him with all our heart, He will not disappoint us.

Pause/Pray

Ask the Lord the reveal His promises to you through His Word. Get on your knees and worship Him. Be thankful for what your loved one left behind—the memories. Ask the Lord to help you get up, and walk in victory over your grief! 

Practice 

Read God’s Word every day. Meditate on His promises, and don’t let yourself get stuck listening to the enemy's lies. Don’t be controlled by your emotions, but by your devotion to the Lord and His perfect will. Remember to follow the D.E.E.R acronym.