Single for the Holidaysಮಾದರಿ

CREATE MEMORIES WITH CONFIDENCE

Sometimes I wonder why people talk so dreadfully about being single. It’s almost impossible to meet someone who’s single and hear excitement in their voice. “Yep, still single. Still alone. Still crying myself to sleep every night,” is usually the tone. And I get it. We all long for companionship. But the older I get and the longer I’m single the more I realize I’ll never get these days back, never get to re-make these memories or be able to selfishly put myself first again. 

I took a survey on Instagram recently and asked people what frustrated them most about being single during the holiday season. Eighty percent submitted a response that referred to their awful dread of feeling lonely and like they didn't have a place to belong. That's understandable given the overwhelming emphasis we put on being 'together' during this time. But not everyone has a 'together'. Not everyone feels like they belong in their 'together'. Where can hope be found and memories created when you feel lost in a sea of people or have no one to be with? 

What are you desperate for? Are you desperately seeking to find your soulmate? Are you desperately dating so you can lock in a date for your work Christmas party? Whatever you're desperate for is going to show in how you carry yourself as well as how you choose to spend your time during the holidays. 

Romans 8:25 says, "But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently," (NLT). If we believe God has a plan for our singleness then we can be CONFIDENT it's going to be good. That confidence will influence our prayers, our conversations, our tone, and our attitude. Instead of being anxious for what the future holds or hopeless about what we lack, the confidence God gives us empowers us to be creative with what He's given us. 

So what can you do about that loneliness thing? I don't know about you, but no matter what holiday it is, I always look for ways I can either gather people together or unique ways I can celebrate by myself. One Thanksgiving I drove myself to the nearest mountain town in California to learn how to snowboard. Hours later, I was cartwheeling down the bunny slopes like an Olympian gymnast! Then I went on a date with my instructor after he uncovered my body out of the snow-grave I landed in. Another time on Valentine's day my best friend Phoenix and I passed out flowers to strangers and prayed for those who accepted our invitation. We gave a flower to a young man who was busking and living in his van. After he wrote me a song on the spot, we invited him to church the following Sunday. He ended up giving his life to Christ and returned home. As my single years continued on I'd host giant sleepovers on Easter, my living room flanked with smelly surfers who'd get up at sunrise for a surf to celebrate Christ's resurrection. The list is endless of how God has inspired me to spend the holidays creating a new 'togetherness' with Him and a place of belonging for others. Don't let tradition make you feel lonely. Break the rules. Start your own traditions. There are memories waiting to be created. 

Is your confidence anchored in God's faithfulness? How can you be creative this holiday season to bring joy to others and a safe space for them to belong?