Beyond the Battle, Finding Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized Worldಮಾದರಿ

I used to want a divorce and had begun planning one. I had prayed endlessly that God would “give me what I deserve.” I had lived up to my end of the deal of sexual purity and now I wanted the reward of marriage utopia I believed God owed me. 

Entitlement sneaks up on you like a carbon monoxide leak. You didn’t cause it, you can’t smell it or see it, but it’s there and it’s lethal. It’s a slave master, working you so hard you break. Nothing can quench it. Nothing can satisfy it. The only way to be free of its enslavement is to receive the sobering truth of what you deserve and of what you have received from Jesus instead. This realization will free you from what burdens you in a way nothing else can.

Now get ready for some strong coffee. This isn’t fun and happy news, but it is the death blow to entitlement, and that death blow opens the path of peace, lightness, and freedom. As I prayed that God would “give me what I deserve,” he answered me. God was very clear and told me, “You do not want me to give you what you deserve...” 

He reminded me that, apart from Jesus, I am a sinner who deserves hell this very moment. 

He reminded me I don’t deserve the soft couch I am sitting on. Or the shoes on my feet. Or the coffee in my hands. The food in my fridge. My children. My wife. (The same is true for your singleness)

What I deserve, what I am owed, what I earned is a holy God’s wrathful judgment. 

This is not only true for me, but for all of us. Let that truth sink in for a moment. 

As I prayed that God would “give me what I deserved,” by his great mercy, he did not give me what I deserved! Instead, and this is the life-changing turning point, he gave me what I did not deserve. 

He gave me his mercy. His love. His grace. 

In my prayer of entitlement, God opened my eyes that I already had all of these treasures and that I did not deserve any of them. 

What is the natural response when you’ve been given treasure beyond measure that you did nothing to earn? The natural response is gratitude! 

God took my self-absorbed, never-satisfied heart of entitlement and transformed it into a heart of gratitude. He took my heart of “this isn’t enough” and transformed it into “this is so much more than I could ask or imagine!” I’m given mercy! And a couch! And shoes! And coffee! And food! And my children! And my wife! 

Celebrate today the bounty of mercy God has given you, thanking him that he has given you what you don’t deserve!

Questions for Reflection

1. What are some of the things you’ve been given in life that are better than hell? (Yes, go ahead and begin answering this.)

2. How does your perspective change when you realize you don’t deserve any of these gifts? Are you able to see your spouse or your singleness as a gift?

3. How does your perspective change about the additional things you ask God for? About the changes you want your spouse to make? About asking God to change your singleness?

4. Do you believe the mercy of Jesus is better than anything you could ever ask God for? 

Prayer for the Day: God, thank you for the thousands of mercies you have already shown me this day, mercies I do not deserve in any way, shape, or form. (List in thanksgiving some mercies God has given you. Anything better than hell will qualify here!)