Love IDEAS-Exploring the Heart of Relationshipsಮಾದರಿ

Day 3 - Love in Action

ASK: Ask God to join you for this time, specifically for understanding how you can be better at showing and living out the concept of love in action with the people around you.

READ: Philippians 2:3, Romans 12:9-13

DEVOTIONAL: Are you able to love people unconditionally or do you have “requirements” for your love? What will you do for the ones you love, even if they don’t love you the way you’d like to be loved or the way you think love is? 

For my work in media, I am regularly bouncing around the globe on some seemingly exotic trip into the middle of nowhere to document something for someone. One particular time in May, I was in the remote parts of northern Uganda with a backpack full of camera equipment documenting the stories of families in need living in the IDP (Internally Displaced People) camps. I had no contact with my family back in Colorado for about a month. When I returned, my wife had our car packed. I thought maybe I had been gone too long and she had enough! Then she told me that my mom, living near Philadelphia, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and was only expected to live a few months. My wife had packed things up for us, ready to move across the USA to be with my mother to help however she needed. 

Let me take a step back here and say that my mom was a hard woman with strong and vocal opinions. As a result, my mom always had a very estranged relationship with my wife. She never really seemed to accept or like my wife, and while my wife tried her best to ignore my mom’s criticism, negativity and verbal jabs, it was not an easy relationship to manage. Their relationship was difficult, to say the least, so we kept our distance purposely. My wife made the decision that we as a family were going to drop everything in our lives in Colorado and move to Pennsylvania for who knows how long. Well, that was crazy in my mind, let alone selfless on behalf of my wife choosing to serve my mom in this way. But we did it, because we felt like it was the right thing to do. 

My mom’s health declined quickly and we visited and helped her every day, in any way we could. Watching a parent disintegrate in front of your eyes, day by day, is very difficult. My wife would spend more and more time with her, and oddly enough, my mom seemed to change with our daily interactions. 

As the oldest son, I had to have the “logistical” talk about what she wanted to happen when the inevitable came about. As we were speaking about her wake,  an idea popped into my head. I asked my mom, “What if we have the wake while you’re still with us?” As bizarre as this sounded, my mom got a small smile on her face. “Instead of having people tell stories about you after you’re gone, let’s do it now so you can hear the stories and we can celebrate your life together with you!” When I sent out invitations, people thought I was nuts, and some were very uncomfortable with the idea. We threw a big party at the church fellowship hall and I asked people to bring food and decorations. We had an open mic and people stood up and told story after story about my mom and how she impacted their lives. We laughed, we cried, but most of all, we loved my mom in the moment. I asked everyone to bring one photo page with pictures of them with my mom with a story so we could put them all into one book as a reminder. It was like when the Israelites piled stones to remember the stories of how God helped them over and over. This photo book was a picture reminder of all the people my mom had impacted in her life. 

After the party, my mom became weaker and weaker, yet she also changed in front of our eyes. She became softer, and started complimenting my wife on her boldness in the way she chose to parent our kids. She even apologized for the way she had been mean to my wife. We talked about Jesus and she confessed all kinds of things to me. We were able to pray and forgive and bless each other in those last days. It was amazing. I remember one evening as we were preparing to head out, my mom asked me to leave so she could spend some time talking with just my wife. Wow, talk about a transformation.

My mother passed in October of that year. And while that was sad, we were able to rejoice in the love in action that came about as a result of us paying attention to God’s calling to be with her in her final days. We overlooked the hurt and pain of the past, and let God propel us forward into a place we never could have imagined on our own. He does that, you know, if you’ll trust Him and let Him take you to places that are way better than you could have thought up for yourself.    

Love in action is sometimes doing the right thing; or a reaction, like ours was with my mom. You don’t necessarily have to move across the USA to do this. It can also be planned. Sometimes it needs to be practiced, especially if we haven’t been doing it so well or we’re stuck in a rut or just thinking about ourselves too much. Maybe love in action is having a regular weekly date night with your spouse to relax or just catch up from the busy week. Maybe love in action is recognizing the love language of your partner, and serving them in a meaningful way. Your serving could be taking care of the “honey-do’s,” checking something off a list, buying them a special gift, a big hug every day or just giving them a compliment for something simple. Whatever it is for you, seek God’s guidance for reconciling and fostering love in action for the people around you. 

WRITE: Write down the names of the 10 most important people in your life. What level of relationship do you have with each of them?  What level of relationship would you like to have with each of these people? How can you love and serve them more? 

MEDITATE: Pray over each of the names you wrote down on your list. Ask God to show you how you can love and serve these people better. Write down any thoughts that may come to you at this time so you can remember them for each person specifically. Ask God to show you things about yourself that might need to change so you can serve and love others in a more genuine way. Wrap up your time today by being quiet and allowing God to love you for who you are and who He made you to be.