Past Present: Strengthening All Relationshipsಮಾದರಿ

We’ve all experienced relational pain and wounds that have distorted how we see ourselves, the world, and our place in it. We want help. We know we need help. And yet, when it is actually time to get help, we often resist exposing these tender, wounded places to others, the hearers of our stories, the very people who could help with our healing.

In an effort to appear open to help, we may offer other aspects of our story. We say we are an open book (except for that story, the one we say only to ourselves). Unfortunately, this strategy doesn’t cut it. . . 

In our well-meaning efforts to guard our hearts from the terror of exposure and the threat of worsening pain, we also guard against doing the rest of our lives better. A quote attributed to psychotherapist Virginia Satir captured this tension well: “Most people prefer the certainty of misery over the misery of uncertainty.”

As you contemplate telling your story at a deeper level, ask yourself, "Am I ready to let go of the certainty of misery and move toward the hope of healing that comes from the uncertain, unguarded world?" It’s my hope that you will take the risk, face the exposure, and initiate the healing of those wounded parts of your story (large and small). I hope you’ll choose to . . . let the light of truth shine on your wounds. I hope you’ll take the risk of sharing those tender stories with others who can help initiate the healing that only exposure can bring. . . 

It’s my hope and prayer that you continue to make small progress every day on your journey toward understanding your story. May you recognize, refute, and replace every distorted message that comes your way. Go slowly.  Give yourself grace. Do the work.

You really can change yourself, the world and your place in it. It’s never too late to do life better by building better relationships.

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For more info on strengthening your relationships, check out the book Past Present by Scott Vaudrey, on which this plan was based on.

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