Why Is It So Hard to Forgive?ಮಾದರಿ

The Unforgiving Debtor 

One of the most profound examples of forgiveness in the Bible is when Jesus told about a king who wanted to settle his debts. One man owed the king a lot of money and couldn’t repay him, so he fell facedown and begged for mercy. The king had pity on him and mercifully forgave the debt. 

After reading that, we’d assume that the forgiven man would be overwhelmed with gratitude, right? The amount he was forgiven was a debt he’d never be able to repay. And not only that, his family wasn’t harmed. Sadly, we see in the very next verse that he did not extend this same mercy to a man who owed him a tiny fraction of what he owed the king. He even had the man arrested and imprisoned until he could pay back the debt.

Something changed in this man’s heart from the time he was on his knees begging the king to have mercy on him for his debt until he got up and saw the man who owed him a much smaller amount. What was it?

One of the greatest components of forgiveness is employing empathy. When we show empathy toward another, we’re placing ourselves in their situation and showing compassion and understanding. The man forgiven the great debt by the king didn’t choose to show empathy toward the man who actually owed him very little. 

If we’re all honest, we probably see ourselves in this story. How often have we chosen not to forgive someone for something they’ve done to hurt us yet we happily receive the forgiveness that God offers us? We’ve all sinned. Profusely. And every single last sin of ours falls short of God’s perfect standard. 

Often, we view our sin differently. We may consider our sins to be small compared to others’, but all sin is contrary to God’s ways. The only difference? Some sins have bigger consequences—some may be small, while others may be life-altering. 

We never know the full story or background in someone’s life. We don’t always understand what experiences have hindered their lives. But, a very important part of extending forgiveness is choosing a perspective that isn’t just our own. Showing empathy requires some work on our part. Often, it’s not natural for us, but could be the very key to walking in freedom by extending forgiveness to others.

Is there someone you’re withholding forgiveness from? Someone whose sin against you wasn’t as bad as you feel it was? Does your punishment of withholding forgiveness not fit their actual “crime”? Ask God to show you who you need to forgive and offer that forgiveness.