How I Got Closer to Godಮಾದರಿ

HOW I CAME TO TRUST HIM

I thought I trusted God, but during the time I after my first husband died, I found Him to be trustworthy in a whole new way.

I had agreed to pastor our church, but I didn’t preach every service right at first. I just wasn’t ready yet. So guest ministers came to preach the services.

At the end of each service, the guest minster would pray for people, and then pray for me. I would usually end up sitting in the sanctuary afterward, basking in the presence of God after everyone else went home.

Eventually I would say to Him, “Father, as long as we’re here together and You’re healing my heart and mind so wonderfully, is there anything You’d like to tell me about what in the world happened?” I had so many questions as to why my strong, healthy, faith-filled 37-year-old husband just went to bed and went to heaven.

And God’s answer was always the same. He said, “Can you trust Me?” Well, I knew it was no time to stop trusting Him, when I needed Him so much. And what was I going to say, “No”? Of course not. So I answered, “Yes, Lord, I trust you.”

After six or seven times of doing this, I finally understood. God was trying to tell me that I might not get all the answers I wanted, but that He would lead, guide, direct, and help me every step of the way for the rest of my life if I believed Him and kept trusting Him.

So I finally said, “Okay, okay! I get it. Yes, Father—I trust You. I won’t ask again.”

It was a pivotal moment in our relationship. I felt the shift. When I chose to trust Him fully, even though I still had questions and I didn’t like the situation, I felt closer to Him than ever before. And in the next 20 years, I watched Him do miracles in my life and the lives of my sons. 

I discovered that our heavenly Father just wants us to believe Him. As we do, He’ll give us the desires of our heart—and then some (see Ps. 37:4). He’s not asking us to do things in our own strength. He’s asking us to trust and believe Him. We can do that!

Was this plan helpful to you? It was adapted from my book “Closer Than You Ever Imagined: Experiencing the Deep Relationship With God You Always Wanted.”  You can read the first part here.