Unhindered By Fearಮಾದರಿ

FEAR OF COMMITMENT

My friend Sierra and I had just begun our ascent on one of the hardest trails in Yosemite Valley: Half Dome. Halfway up the mountain, I was ready to call it quits. It would take us 10 hours to complete the 17-mile trek and reach an elevation of 8,842 feet. The most hiking I had ever done was take a walk in a park. Let’s just say, we were in for a rude awakening.

There were many times I stopped to catch my breath and thought to myself, “This is good enough, let’s head back. What’s the point of getting to the top anyhow?” My thoughts continued to weigh my decision to press forward. As we continued up the trail, we did everything humanly possible to keep our mind off of the agonizing pain in our legs. We sang songs, ate beef jerky, played 21 questions, and yet time seemed to be moving slower than ever. I wanted to give up so badly, but was determined to finish what I had set out to do for bragging rights, if anything. And I’m so glad I did! The view from the top was breathtakingly beautiful and one of the most life-changing experiences I’ve had to date.

I learned a valuable lesson on that hike to Half Dome: you have to be committed to the journey, not just the destination. The path you take to get to where you need to go might be boring at times, but it’s essential to stay committed to the journey each step of the way. There are times where it’s not going to be fun, and we may be in pain, but if we focus on these challenges, we will miss out on the moment that could be just as memorable as reaching the destination itself. 

In fact, a moment Sierra and I almost missed out on during our journey was an encounter with a bear! As we were making our descent from the mountain singing, “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry at the top of our lungs, all of a sudden we saw a giant mama bear about 15 feet away. Yep, we were about to be lunch. Not really, but it was pretty epic! Had we been complaining and rushing through the journey, we would have missed this crazy experience that invigorated us along the way and reminded us why we love to get alone in the woods. You never know what could happen, what you may see, or what wild adventures are waiting for you. 

The same thing is true for life, but the fear of commitment is a common theme for many young people who are struggling to find their way. The concept of signing a contract, getting married, relocating, or even choosing to stay somewhere that you have a hard time loving can make you feel, well...STUCK. Without realizing it, the fear of commitment can cause you to slip into an apathetic lifestyle as you opt-out of plans with friends because you got a better offer or back out of a commitment because it was more work than you realized. Let’s be real. Our generation SUCKS at commitments. 

I will fully take the blame for how I’ve contributed to a fear of commitment within our culture as I have often been the one to cancel plans or ghost someone because I found a better opportunity. I know, that’s terrible, but it’s true, and you can probably relate more than you’d like to admit. Not all commitments are fun or easy. Some commitments are a process, but if we don’t commit to the process, we will never realize our full potential or achieve our dreams. 

When we fear commitment, we tend to run from the things that will challenge us to grow. Apathy causes you to settle for a temporarily fulfilling experience. There are sacrifices that come with commitments, but there is also great reward, and the rewards are lasting. 

Get the [F]ear out of Your Head

Today’s challenge: 

1. Do you often tell people you will show up and change your mind at the last minute? Do you overcommit yourself? Start making changes in your life by sticking to your word and following through. Make a mental note every time you say “yes” to someone and determine to follow through with it no matter the conflict. 
2. What scares you about big commitments? Make a list and reach out to a mentor who has made these commitments. Perhaps you are afraid of getting married, but feel more comfortable with the idea of moving in with your partner. You may think this is a safe common ground, but the root of it is fear. Invite someone you trust to hold you accountable to facing these fears and navigating the journey of achieving your dreams, free from the fear of commitment.