Christian Courtship And Dating ಮಾದರಿ

Finding the One 

Let’s look inside the church. It’s always amazing to me. You’ve got maybe 20 singles in the church, and they’re all praying to find someone to marry. And I want to say, “Look around the singles’ group. That one’s not married, and that one’s not married! So how about going out with each other? Explore that.” I think for that to happen in churches, we’ve got to lower the expectations and pressure. Sometimes young men and women within the church don’t want to go out with each other, because there’s an immediate expectation of marriage. They can’t even get to know each other. Let’s lower the pressure. If I ask you to coffee, it doesn’t mean I want to marry you. It means I want to go have coffee with you, and I want us to get to know each other better. 

The One

“The One.” It’s a term used not only by Christians, but also in our society. How do you know that person is the one? In the church and as believers I would say first, don’t date anyone that you wouldn’t want to marry. That’s a good place to begin--from the standpoint of character. When I was a youth pastor many years ago, I would tell young people, “You’re not in a position to date until you have worked out for yourself a set of principles from the Word of God.” There are no Bible verses on dating. However, work out a set of principles from the Word of God that you won’t compromise even if it means you don’t have any dates. If you’re not willing to lose dates to uphold those standards, you’re not ready to date. You’ll compromise somewhere else. Once that’s in place, it really becomes a matter of desire. Do you desire to spend the rest of your life with this person? It’s wise to go to your parents because they know you very well. Ask them, “What do you think of this person?” Go to your siblings who also know you well and ask them what they think of the person. Go to mature leaders of the church. But above all, look to the Lord. My wife was the second woman I ever dated, and I asked her to marry me on the second date. So, there you go, that’s the way to do it. Not! That’s not the way to do it. We’ve been married for 34 years and love each other with all of our hearts. We’re looking to God. Just like in raising children, we’re dependent on Him. Jackie and I were very young in the faith when we were dating. We didn’t know a lot. 

Do not knowingly violate His word. Take those principles you have set to heart and do not violate or compromise them. If you desire to marry a person and they’re in the Lord and their character is godly, you are free to marry them. In 1st Corinthians 7, Paul was talking about widows saying a widow can marry anyone she wants, but only in the Lord. That’s the standard.