Love Junkies: Break The Toxic Relationship Cycleಮಾದರಿ

Did you know that unforgiveness is not a word? What we so often call unforgiveness, the Bible calls bitterness. And bitterness is a poison. It not only affects our emotions, but left untreated, the toxins produced by bitterness seep into our body as well. The resentment left behind can cause all kinds of physical ailments. 

Sometimes we hang onto a grudge because we want to punish the other person. When we do this, it only causes us to suffer. We may know how destructive bitterness can be, but it’s difficult to release because it goes against our sin nature. We want to be in charge. We want to dole out the consequences. Instead, our bitterness backfires. We become like an angry rattlesnake. If infuriated and threatened enough, a rattlesnake will bite itself and die from its own poison. Likewise, our own anger is self-inflicted venom. We may not die, but we feel devoid of joy and become the walking wounded. 

It’s often easier to forgive someone with whom we don’t have history. We don’t have a deep emotional bond with them. That’s why so many women jump from one bad rela­tionship straight into the arms of another guy. The new man looks so good that you think he has no baggage, but it’s an illusion. His issues haven’t had time to surface yet.

In the Bible, Joseph exemplifies someone who was able to forgive horrible offenses. After being sold into human trafficking by his jeal­ous brothers, being accused of rape and thrown in prison, Joseph could have justified his anger and bitterness. His brothers’ actions were wrong, but he chose to overlook their offense. In a gripping encounter twenty-two years later, Joseph said to the brothers who sold him into slavery, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20).

What if we looked at offenses from a different perspective? When we overlook an offense, glory comes. And the more we practice forgiveness, the easier it becomes to tear down the walls of bitterness. Just like the habit of hanging onto re­sentment releasing forgiveness is a decision and a choice. Who do you need to forgive? Ask God for His help. He is able to help you escape the bondage of bitterness and walk in total freedom. 

Are you bitter or better? Take the quiz .