Romanceಮಾದರಿ

Having Fun

It seems like at one time or another every couple gets “stuck” in their marriage. Let me share with you the patterns that I see. Things are going well and the couple gets a little complacent. They quit being as purposeful with each other and just coast for a while. It’s not usually an intentional decision. It just happens. Those days turn into weeks and then months, and for some couples even years. The spark that once was there in their marriage is missing. They have gone from a vibrant marriage to just existing together. For some, it is evident because they fight a lot more than usual. Others just go about their lives with little, if any, connection. They focus on work or kids or something else. Some of the needs that used to be met in their marriage begin getting met elsewhere, so their times of connection are even less.

One of the questions that I usually ask couples when they come to see me for marriage counseling is, “When is the last time you had fun together?” I cannot even count the number of times that the only answer I get from them is blank stares. What if I asked you that question? How would you answer? Many couples enter marriage saying one of their reasons for marrying is because they have so much fun together. A few years later, far too many find themselves unable to remember the last time they had fun.

Having fun together is a big part of marriage. How “fun” is defined can vary from one couple to another. There is no right or wrong way to have fun. It is laughing together, doing things that you both enjoy, setting the cares of life aside for a moment to just enjoy being with each other. For many of us, those times came so easily when we were dating that we took for granted that they would continue. For a few couples that may be true but most of us have to continue to build those times of fun into our marriages.

If you are reading this and thinking “we are stuck,” or “we are heading in that direction,” it’s time to put the fun back into your marriage. It may take some effort but the results will grow you closer to each other and will give you another reason to be thankful for the marriage God has given you.

Today’s Challenge:

1. What does having fun together with your spouse mean to you?

2. Have you let the fun slip out of your marriage? _______ Yes _______ No

How did that happen?

3. What are some of the things you did as a couple for fun earlier in your relationship?

4. List three fun things you would like to do with your spouse now.

Going Deeper:

Dr. Kim stresses not letting issues or problems creep into a “fun” date. Are you willing to set them aside and truly just have fun together? What is your first step to putting fun back in your marriage?

25 Day Think Sex Challenge

Are you ready to really up the romance by taking the 25 Day Think Sex Challenge? This challenge is designed to help you get back in the mood if it’s been a while since you felt romantic or were excited about intimacy. Learn more here.