Healthy Practices Of Ministry CouplesSample

Learn To Be Quiet
By Chuck & Tamera Ford of Relate Church

Ever been in a situation with your spouse where your mouth has taken over? You started talking then like a runaway train, words came out faster than you could think and you both ended up feeling wrecked. Yeah, us too. Communication is vital in a healthy relationship but learning the art of shutting your mouth is equally important. I (Tamera) would be considered the "talker" in our marriage. My husband, Chuck, is skilled at being quiet. It has driven me to the edge of insanity a few times but the longer we walk together the more I appreciate his ability to zip his lip.

The Bible tells us that “too much talk leads to sin” and that we are to “be sensible and keep our mouths shut." Plain and simple, we can get ourselves in a mess of trouble by not controlling our tongue. It takes self control to not say everything you are feeling or thinking. You might be tempted to defend the fiery little trouble maker in your mouth that is untamable (James 3:8). Or, maybe you are thinking, “If no man can tame it, then I might as well forget it.” But don’t throw in the towel just yet.

We have found that learning to be quiet starts in the heart. Our hearts fill up with what we meditate on, look at and spend time with. What is in our heart dictates what we speak. We have control over our thoughts. We can choose to think on things that are right, lovely, excellent and praiseworthy. When we focus our attention on the positive, we make the sometimes very difficult decision to see the best in the other person and stop fixating on the problem. Our heart fills with words that will bless and not curse. When we purposely fill our heart with what God has to say about our spouse and the situations we face, then our mouth is more inclined to bless and not curse. We become more aware of the power of our words.

1. Have you been looking, thinking and talking about a your relationship in a negative way?

2. Have you been letting your mouth take over and create messes?

3. What is one aspect of your marriage that you can choose to think about differently by finding out what God says and then filling your heart with his words?