The Man the Moment DemandsSample

JUST AS YOU ARE

As men, we tend to put up a façade rather than allow people to get to know us—or allow ourselves to get to know our emotions.

We don’t start out that way. We arrive in the world as exuberant, carefree boys, radiating joy and authenticity. Yet our culture molds us over time into less expressive versions of ourselves—males hemmed in by the rigid notion of “manhood.” We have minimal space for transparency with ourselves or others—and no room for those lighthearted boys.

As we grow, often our expressions of pain are labeled as weakness, fatigue is labeled as laziness, and resistance is labeled as rebellion. When tears flow, we’re called “soft,” teaching us from an early age to bottle our pain. As the pressure causes us to suffer in silence, we stop seeking our purpose in life and start pursuing unhealthy outlets of release instead—or we simply give up.

If you are like most men I’ve known, at some point you’ve struggled with feeling confused. What else can we expect when the most commendable human traits such as caring, compassion, and empathy have been systematically suppressed in men’s hearts by the time we reach our early teens? And how many intellectually gifted men find themselves imprisoned—physically or emotionally or both—because they couldn’t control their emotions in a moment of heated passion or rage? When men are conditioned to neglect most of their emotions, managing “masculine” ones becomes an even greater struggle.

The truth is that God created all emotions for all humans, transcending gender boundaries. Emotions are part of being whole people who are created in the image of God.

Over my decades of working with men of all ages, I have learned this: Confusion exists when you don’t know why you exist. But there is hope. God welcomes us just as we are—our strengths, our weaknesses, our confusion. We don’t need to put up a façade for Him.

Hebrews 4:16 tells us, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” God invites us to come to Him just as we are so He can remind us who He created us to be.

In what ways do you feel limited by the definition of “manhood”? How does that affect your relationship with God?