Triumph & TurmoilSample

A Good Friend

My father told me of an interaction he had recently had with one of my closest childhood friends.

“You took my best friend away,” is what my buddy told my dad; we moved from my childhood home when I was in grade 2. Nearly 40 years later, the memory is still vivid.

A growing number of studies highlight the need for good friendships. But that is easier said than done—right, men?

We may not all struggle with making close connections with other men, but enough of us do, and we probably all do from time to time.

From the impact of social media and our digital communities to perhaps some of our natural inclinations as men to be reserved and not seem vulnerable, there are many reasons for the deterioration in relationships, especially among men.

David and Jonathan (Saul’s son) had an extraordinarily close and intimate friendship. Despite the tension between Saul and David and the fact that David was given what would have been Jonathan’s birthright to be king, these two men forged a deep and fast bond (read of their interactions in 1 Samuel 18—20; chapter 23).

One of their last interactions was to make a covenant together (1 Samuel 23:18). We are not told exactly what the covenant was, but it bound the two of them together.

After Saul and Jonathan died in battle (read David’s lament in 2 Samuel 1:17-27), David sought out any living member of Jonathan’s family, that David might “show him kindness, for Jonathan’s sake” (2 Samuel 9:1, emphasis added).

In life, the two had been knit together, looking out for the good of each other, even if it meant giving up something significant. In death, David meant to honor the memory of the man who had done and given so much for him.

This really is one of David’s shining moments. One of the triumphs that we can emulate.

David risked bonding with another man. He shared with him so deeply that though Scripture talks of Jonathan’s soul being knit to David (1 Samuel 18:1-3), we can reasonably assume that David was likewise knit to Jonathan. He loved Jonathan so deeply that he later served Jonathan’s family “for Jonathan’s sake.”

Men, do you have friends like this? What would it take to find some?

Prayer: God, I know You made us to connect with one another. Even as You are triune and live in constant loving and serving relationships within Yourself, we, too, need loving relationships to flourish as humans. Help me find and create a community that reflects Your character. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Reflection: Do you have close friends? What holds you back from forming deep friendships with other men? What might need to change to find friendships like this?