Fighting LonelinessSample

Maybe I’m the Part of the Problem?

When reading the Bible, we often emphasize that we are victims who have been wronged by others, and we need God’s healing and grace for what has been done to us.

And this may be true.

But what if we begin seeing ourselves as part of the problem?

What would that do to our understanding and growth?

Proverbs 26:11 is such a good saying:

“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.”

(How cool is it that the Bible has the word “vomit” in it?!)

It’s interesting to note the choice of words in this short proverb:

“As a dog returns to its vomit…”—Singular.

“…so fools repeat their folly.”—Plural.

It suggests that many fools in this world choose to behave in ways that leave them alone.

What do they choose?

Folly.

And what is “folly”?

One definition is “The state or quality of being foolish; lack of understanding or sense.”

I don’t know about you, but I tend not to want to be around people who have the quality of being foolish or who lack understanding and sense.

But wait…what if I’m the one who is lacking sense? What if I’m the one who is behaving foolishly?

Maybe I’ve been the one whose sarcasm has hurt people.

Maybe I’ve been the one who is obnoxious or off-putting with my words or actions.

Maybe I’ve been the one who doesn’t follow through when I commit to something.

Maybe I’ve been the one who always shows up late.

Maybe I’ve been the one who hasn’t returned calls or texts.

And the list goes on.

Here’s the bottom line, men:

When battling loneliness, the first battle needs to be with ourselves, which concerns two questions:

Am I doing anything where people might not want to be around me?

And if I am, what do I need to change?

I know this is challenging to consider. But if you do it well, you will begin to leave behind folly and move towards friendship.

Prayer: Lord, personal change is hard. Honestly, I’d rather have You change others around me. But help me to look honestly at my character and see what You want to work on in me. Amen.

Reflection: What is one area of growth God is challenging you in?