Fully Functional Family: The Family Guide to GROW Through Dysfunction.Sample

Day 1: Your Dysfunction Does Not Determine your Family's Identity.

I will begin this six-day Bible plan with a bold claim: all families have dysfunction! What’s more? Dysfunctional families have existed since the beginning of time! From Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel to the Kardashians, my family, the Brady Bunch, the Three Stooges, and everyone in between. I’ll give an example. Let's discuss Jacob from the Bible. When we discuss Jacob, we often talk about the fact that he was Abraham's grandson and fulfilled God‘s promise to make him a great nation. We acknowledge that Jacob‘s name was changed to Israel, and he fathered 12 sons, who started the 12 tribes spoken about throughout the Bible. We even recognize Jacob as the Great (x36) Grandfather of Jesus Christ! 🤯 (Matthew 1 & Luke 3)

That's a wonderful legacy, but what if I told you that Jacob's life also included lies, deceit, sibling beef, reconciliation, looting, murder, jealousy, and even a wrestling match with God Himself (Jacob lost of course)? For context, you can read Genesis 25 - 37, but here are a few highlighted points.

In Genesis 27:15-36 Jacob conspired with his mother to steal the blessing and birthright from his brother, Esau. Of course, Esau wasn't happy about this, so Jacob's life “got flipped–turned upside down” when he was sent to live with his rich uncle Laban in the land of Haran. Once Jacob arrived, he fell in love with Laban’s daughter, Rachel (Genesis 29:16-18), and agreed to work for seven years for her. At the end of those seven years, Laban tricked Jacob into marrying his oldest daughter, Leah, and offered Jacob another seven years of work to marry Rachel. Jacob agreed. (Genesis 29:22-30)

As if that wasn't enough drama, it turns out that Rachel could not have children, but Leah was–sparking another sibling rivalry [*cue suspense music*]. Rachel eventually had a son, Joseph, who Jacob loved. Once Joseph was born, Jacob decided it was time to go. After twenty-one long years, Jacob was ready to cut his losses and leave…but not before another elaborate scheme! Genesis 30:37-43 explains how Jacob developed and executed the perfect scheme to get the sturdy flock, making him richer while leaving the feeble flock to Laban.

While on the way to his hometown, Jacob ran into Esau. He was understandably scared that Esau would be angry with him; however, the two brothers reconciled their differences (Genesis 33:1-4), and Jacob continued his journey. One day, as he journeyed, a man named Shechem abused and disgraced Jacob's only daughter, Dinah (Genesis 34:1-4). In retaliation, Jacob's sons conspired, murdered every man in the city of Shechem, and stole all his valuable belongings (Genesis 34:25-29). Sounds pretty rough, right? It doesn't stop there. In Genesis 37, Jacob's sons conspired again–this time against one of their own brothers, Joseph. Another sibling rivalry [*cue more dramatic suspense music*]!

Joseph's brothers hated him and refused to talk to him because he was Jacob's favorite (Genesis 37:3-4). To make matters worse, Joseph had dreams that he'd be the boss one day and that his entire family would bow to him (Genesis 37:5-8). Can you imagine how upset that made his brothers? Well, they decided to get rid of him, starting with an idea to murder him and hide the body (Genesis 37:18-20). Luckily, one of the brothers spoke up, and the brothers eventually decided to sell Joseph into slavery (Genesis 37:28).

This twisted, dysfunctional family story continues throughout the rest of Genesis. Doesn't Jacob's life sound like one of today's reality TV drama series?! Even with all the craziness that happened in Jacob's life, he was still affirmed as the recipient of God's promise to Abraham and set up as the father of the Jewish nation. That's the point of me telling this entire dysfunctional story.

Your family's past or present dysfunction will not stop you from creating a new legacy.

Biblical principles provide a solid foundation for building a strong bond within a family to grow through dysfunction. So, here's my challenge for you: Over the next several days, sit down with your family to read this plan together. Each day will focus on a particular topic and end with a family prayer and discussion. This isn't the time to play the blame game or scream, “I told you so!” Rather, this is a time to read, study, and grow together. To prepare:

1. Get as physically close as you can to each other. So close that you can see the food stuck in between your family members' teeth.
2. Make eye contact during the discussion.
3. Begin and end with a hug. This isn't time to practice martial arts… just give a hug!
4. Smile big! This is your opportunity to grow closer as a family.

Let's dive in!

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, thank You for my family! We are grateful for the opportunity to create an environment of love, support, understanding, and growth, nurturing a strong bond and a healthy relationship. Please help us have an open mind so that we can learn and grow. Thank you for my wonderful family! Amen.

Continue the discussion:

1. Dysfunction is defined as an “abnormality or impairment in the function of a specified bodily organ or system.” What are two examples of how Jacob's family did not act the way we expect a family to operate?
2. Discuss your family's plan to finish this Bible plan together.